Game Restart
by WolfyMagician
Summary: Felix just wanted to go on a winter break vacation with his best friend, girlfriend, and the little racer they all grew to love. He planned the trip to the new hotel game and he planned to have a boatload of fun with his friends. But he never planned on falling in love with Ralph. And he never counted on the big guy to feel the same way. Slash. Ralph x Felix.
1. Vacation Time!

**Game Restart**

* * *

_Warning: Ralph x Felix slash. Yaoi. GuyxGuy. Don't like, dont read. _

_Plot belongs to Melissa Felton 8~_

* * *

It had all started out with a little thing called winter break.

To most of the programs in Litwak's Arcade, this was both a blessing and a curse.

Yeah, it was great that they had a week all to themselves, a week of relaxing and lazing around like they owned the place (which, to an extent, they did). They got a week to have fun, a week to catch up with friends, and a week to go on as many adventures as they wanted.

But they also got a week of absolute _boredom_.

Since the arcade was open more hours than it was closed, they were quite used to living during the night, in only a few hours at a time. Naturally, all those fun little things they normally did during regular days—which they only spent about an hour or two on—didn't seem as appealing now that they had so much free time.

So yes, boredom was a little bit of an issue.

Which was why everybody was extremely grateful when Litwak added a new game to their roster.

Tratser Resort.

A hotel adventure.

* * *

"So, how 'bout it?"

Word spread rather quickly in the virtual world. Especially in the 'good guy' circle, where everyone was respected and loved.

Fix-It Felix, Jr. was no exception.

He'd heard about the game from his good friend Mario, who had apparently already checked himself in. (No doubt from special connections).

_"Just-a to be safe," _he had said, raising his eyebrows rather seriously,_ "Every-a-body is-a going there!"_

The idea of a real, legitimate vacation was all-too exciting for Felix, even more so now that he had a family of sorts to spend it with.

Which brought him to his most recent task:

Convincing his friends to go.

"_Please_, Ralph? It'll be a lot of fun! Just you, me, Jean, and Vanellope! How could you say no to that?"

They were at Tapper's, sitting next to each other on barstools. Despite being the first night off (the arcade had closed half an hour ago) the tavern was unusually empty, save the handful of men who were always there on a regular basis.

The old bartender smiled kindly at Felix as he passed him his requested drink: apple juice.

"I didn't say no," muttered Ralph with a sigh, absentmindedly tapping his mostly-empty mug of root beer. He glanced sideways at the pleading, pouting handyman, who hands were now clasped together in a rather adorable way—

_Woah_. Adorable? Where did _that_ come from? Ralph mentally slapped himself, blaming it all on the...root beer.

Root beer was _strong_, right?

Root beer was the reason his face was flaring up now, right?

_Right?_

"Ralph?" asked Felix cautiously, unknowingly interrupting his friend's very confused thoughts. "C'mon, answer me! You'll hang out with poor little Felix, right? Your best friend?"

"We're best friends now?" Ralph raised an eyebrow, bemused and a little...flattered. Considering they were supposedly _enemies_ who everyday tried to beat each other in a battle of hammers and bricks, this new revelation seemed almost too crazy for Ralph to comprehend. Beside him, Felix flushed a little bit, squirming in his seat.

"Well...aren't we?" he whispered in a small voice, sincerely worried about being rejected. Surprised at the uneasiness of his words, Ralph nodded furiously.

"Of _course_ we are!" he half-yelled indignantly, his drink sloshing a bit as he made to stand up. But Felix quickly grabbed his arm and forced him back into his stool, eyes wide and alarmed. "Oh...sorry."

"It's fine, brother," the light brunette chuckled in relief, his heart feeling oddly lighter. He didn't know why, but Ralph's..._enthusiastic_...reaction affirming their longtime friendship left a warm, bubbly feeling in the pit of his chest. He figured it was just the apple juice. Because _that_ stuff was simply flat-out _crazy_. "But did you really _not_ know we were best buds?"

"It's—it's just you never actually said it before, so..."

"Oh, _Ralph_," laughed Felix, reaching over to pat his counterpart's large hand. He smiled wide, a special twinkle in his eye. "Sometimes, you don't need to be _told_ anything. You just gotta _know_."

_Huh_, thought Ralph to himself, as he eyed their still-touching hands with a mixture of happiness and an odd burning feeling he couldn't exactly name. _Best friends, eh?_

For some strange reason, the new title sound as good as it should have been.

Why, though?

* * *

In the end, Ralph did give in. No surprise there.

Felix mentally checked him off the list, whistling a tune as they made their way towards Hero's Duty to speak to his girlfriend.

"How do I look?" he asked Ralph as they boarded the empty subway to the game, glancing at his reflection on the window. He took off his hat and attempted to flatten his already-perfect hair down. As an afterthought, he threw the cap back on anyway, much to the amusement of Ralph.

"You look _fine_, Felix." _Very fine._

"Really? I don't want to disappoint her..."

_Well, who cares about her?_ an annoyed voice called in the back of Ralph's mind, bringing his thought process to a screeching halt. He didn't know why, but he was irked. Irritated. The idea of seeing Calhoun suddenly seemed like the last thing he wanted to do. In fact, he'd rather drown in a pool of Diet Coke. Mentos included.

But Felix was looking at him expectantly, and the fact that he _was_—the fact that he even bothered to worry about what _that girl_ thought of him—brought out another wave of what Ralph could only describe as _uneasiness_. And a bit of nausea. "Yeah. You look great," he croaked, looking away hurriedly. His face was on fire, his heart clenched painfully. Was he sick? He hated being sick...

"Well, if _you_ say so, then I probably look _amazing_!" Felix flashed him a winning smile; it slid off his face, however, when he saw the flustered state his closest friend was in. "You okay, big guy?"

"Oh, yeah. But I think the root beer's getting to me..."

"I told you not to drink a lot..."

"Says the guy who went through _three_ rounds of _apple juice_. You crazy _monster_." The handyman giggled at that, and immediately Ralph's heart skipped a beat. He grinned despite himself, greedily watching his smaller friend cover his mouth with a gloved hand as he continued to laugh.

Eventually, when he calmed down enough to actually speak, Felix affirmed that, indeed, "You really are my best friend, Ralph."

After that, a comfortable silence filled the subway as they neared the Hero's Duty platform. They clambered out easily enough, completely unfazed by the chaos in this world. They didn't even blink at the rapid gunfire and sounds of metal clashing. Seconds later, a few soldiers stopped to look at them, sliding their masks off.

"Hey, Calhoun's boy-toy," one of stockier men teasingly greeted, followed by a couple of chuckles from his companions. Ralph scowled at this, fists clenching beside him. "Sarge's coming in a minute."

"Oh, good. Thank you." Felix waved at the troops as they passed them, not noticing his counterpart instinctively draw closer. He protectively lifted Felix to his right shoulder ("Woah! _Ralph_!") and glared at anybody who dared to glance at their direction.

Unfortunately, he hadn't noticed a certain sergeant approach them until she had her gun pointed at his face. "Surprise," she dryly stated, smirking up at his startled features. Felix beamed happily, and Ralph had the sudden urge to _wreck_. Didn't matter what. Or _whom_.

Though, he was strangely pleased that the handyman remained firmly on his shoulder despite his girlfriend's presence. "_Jean_! Boy, do I have news for you!"

"Yeah? What is it, shortstack?"

"We're going on a _vacation_!"

* * *

_Two down. One more to go._

They had agreed to meet up in front of the entrance to Sugar Rush at Game Central Station in roughly twenty minutes. Enough time to collect the youngest member of their little group.

Vanellope was almost a guaranteed yes, so it hardly fazed either of the men when she'd half-lost her mind jumping around and screaming _"YEAH!"_ to the heavens after they'd invited her. In fact, the young girl seemed more excited about the getaway than even Felix. Which, in it of itself, was saying something.

"When are we going? When, when, _when_? Right now? Later? _Tomorrow_? _What_?"

"Actually, Vanellope, we're all set to go! We're just waiting for your things—"

"_Ooh_! Okay!" Vanellope happily nodded, hopping from foot to foot anxiously. "I'll be right back; stay here!" With a cheer, she ran off, hopped onto her racecar, and drove away with a burst of speed, leaving the Fix-It Felix, Jr. characters in a cloud of chocolate dust.

Coughing slightly, Felix turned to his partner and gave him the thumbs-up. "See? I told you she'd wanna go!"

Ralph only rolled his eyes.

The small president returned in record speed, glitching in giddiness, an adorably tiny suitcase lugged behind her. It amazed them how fast she could go even without her racecar, which she had obviously left in her hideout. "C'mon, slowpokes! Let's _go_!"

Chuckling, Felix held out his hand for the little girl to take. Ralph saw this and quickly followed suit, offering his own ridiculously large hand, as well.

Vanellope beamed and latched onto both of them. For good measure, they swung her a bit, eliciting the happiest of squeals. "Ooh! Do that again!"

"As we walk," promised Felix, reaching for her abandoned suitcase. But Ralph beat him to it, scooping up the whole thing with his free hand. "Why, thank you, Ralph."

"No problem," the brunette replied, smiling softly at his counterpart. He could've sworn he saw Felix's cheeks redden... But maybe he was just imagining things.

From the root beer...

"Uhm, guys? Can we go now?" Vanellope begged, tugging on their fingers. She couldn't handle the wait anymore; the excitement was too much. When was the last time she left her game, anyway? A few weeks ago? More? All the more reason to go _ASAP_. "And do that swinging thing again!"

The two men exchanged amused looks before nodding once and complying. They swung Vanellope back and forth as they walked, the sound of her happy giggles and squeaks a welcome melody to their ears. Laughing along with her, the small 'family' slowly made their way back to Game Central Station.

* * *

Getting to the hotel was simple enough.

Felix didn't know the name of their destination, but he figured the game entrance crowded with the most programs was the safest way to go.

Though, he could do _without_ the line...

"Ooh," Vanellope breathed, staring in awe at the plethora of characters—heroes and villains alike—milling about in close proximity to each other. She'd never seen so many programs before at one time! It was almost too overwhelming.

"This game must be pretty good," Ralph commented with surprised eyes as they approached the end of the long line. Like Vanellope, he was just as amazed at the size of potential 'guests' that had shown up. Then again, this _was_ the first vacation-isque game that had ever plugged in. Everybody really must have wanted to do something new this winter break...

"Yup! Mario said it was the best," nodded Felix, squinting into the distance to see the head of the line. He then pouted, shaking his head. "Sorry, fellas. This looks like it'll take a while."

"Eh. Happens."

"What exactly _is_ a hotel?" wondered Vanellope out loud, looking curiously at the three adults. She was perched on Ralph's left shoulder (Felix was on the right) and was craning her neck to check how far away they were to the hotel's station. Which, at this point, was very.

"It's...kind of like a temporary home," Felix slowly began, absentmindedly playing with the back of Ralph's hair. The larger man shivered at the touch, though luckily, nobody noticed it. Felix should _really_ be grateful that Ralph had a lot of self-control. Otherwise, he would've...he would've...

Oh, _God_. Why should he even _need_ self-control in regards to _Felix_? What exactly _was_ he controlling?

_Ooh_, boy. Was it _hot_ in here or was it just him?

"A temporary home?"

"Yeah...Except the place is really _extravagant_. There're pools and spas and really neat restaurants..."

"A _pool_?" excitedly repeated the young girl, a large grin on her face. She poked Ralph meaningfully. "Can we do that first?"

"Well, we still have to get rooms," he pointed out weakly, shuffling forward as the line moved. Felix nodded in agreement. He opened his mouth to say something, but then hesitated.

"What's wrong, Felix?"

"Nothing... Just I think we're going to need separate rooms," he mused thoughtfully, scratching the side of his face. "Vanellope and Jean could bunk together and"—he shyly looked at Ralph, a bit of a reddish hue on his cheeks—"you and me."

"Wait, why don't we all just share a room?" Vanellope curiously inquired, a bit unnerved by the thought of sleeping in close quarters with Calhoun. Not that she disliked the lady...but she was still very intimidating. And trigger-happy.

"It's not very proper," Felix replied kindly, smiling over Ralph's head at the young child. "Guys and gals don't normally share rooms... Well, unless they're married."

"So married people share rooms? Does that mean you and Ralph are married?"

Calhoun loudly snickered, gazing somewhat proudly at the tiny president. The two men could only blink dumbly...before uneasily turning bright-red each.

Vanellope looked at them expectantly. "_Well_?"

_This is going to be a long night..._

Half an hour later found them ready to board the train, which was the mode of transportation to the game. It appeared to be a classic steam-engine, very unlike the subway from Hero's Duty.

The train boasted a rather beautiful interior; the hand-carved wooden seats were lined with velvet, the cushions softer than any marshmallow at Sugar Rush. The walls were pretty much enlarged paintings without frames, making it seem as though they'd just jumped into the art itself. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling (Ralph had to duck a bit at that) and small lights lined the aisles. Rows of seats faced the crystal-clear windows, silk curtains drawn to the sides.

Absolutely. _Gorgeous_.

And they hadn't even seen the hotel...

"Let's sit here!" squealed Vanellope excitedly, tugging Ralph's hand towards a few seats in the corner. He amiably followed her, Felix and Calhoun close behind. "When will we get there?"

"The same just like any other game; maybe five minutes, at most," laughed Felix as he climbed into his seat (after the ladies had done so, of course). He turned to his girlfriend and suddenly gasped. "Jiminy jaminy! This is your first winter break!"

"It is," the tall woman affirmed, stretching a bit in her own seat. She rested her face on the palm of her hand and raised an eyebrow at her anxious boyfriend. "What about it?"

"Well, aren't you excited?" he grinned with wide eyes, clasping his fingers together. "It'll be a whole new experience!"

"I've already had my share of _new experiences_," she smirked in response, shooting a sneaky glance at Ralph. Felix obviously understood, for he chuckled sheepishly.

"He's been good. Promise. There'll be _no_ crazy adventures during our vacation! No, siree! Just ol' fashioned bonding for the four of us."

Calhoun only let out a small bark of laughter, shaking her head. "Whatever you say, Fix-It."

* * *

Tratser Hotel Resort.

Probably the prettiest building they've ever seen. Probably the tallest and biggest one, too. Probably a bit more majestic than Vanellope's own castle.

Probably _overbooked_.

They hadn't really thought about what would happen if the hotel had run out of rooms. Not that the idea was certain, but a lot of programs had been discussing that scenario around them. In rather obnoxious voices, too.

"Oh, my _land_..."

"What's an 'overbooking'?" Vanellope asked as they stood in yet another line (this time for the check-in). Luckily, they were too preoccupied admiring the beauty of the grand lobby—which was amazingly reminiscent of the train's design—to worry too much about the thirty minute wait.

"It means we might not get rooms," Calhoun stated with a shrug, oblivious to the slacked-jaw stares she was receiving from several men. (She had no idea, but this was the reason they'd managed to snag such a great spot in line; originally, they were meant to wait another hour.)

"I'm sure they'll have rooms available..." murmured Felix nervously, twiddling his thumbs. He really should've asked Mario about that. He really should've asked Mario a lot of things about this hotel.

Because, he'd learned, Mario was never wrong.

By the time they reached the front desk, Felix's worst fears seemed to have been confirmed; they'd overheard some of the employees arguing about _not_ having enough space for everybody, about possibly just sending half of them _home_.

His face fell dramatically, and it almost came as a slap to the face when a voice called, "I can help the next guest!" Sighing dejectedly, the handyman trudged over to the front desk...only to realize just how tall it was and just how tall he was _not_.

Way to kick a man when he was down...

"Uhm. Next guest, please?"

"I-I'm down here!" called Felix in embarrassment, standing on the tip of his toes, throwing his hands up. When that proved to be unsuccessful, he glanced around helplessly, terrified. Lucky for him, his knight in shining armor was not far away; Ralph easily pulled him into his arms, bringing him into view of the somewhat bemused employee.

"Good evening, sirs," greeted the tall, pretty brunette politely, smiling up at the two of them. "How may I help you?"

"We'd like to check in for the week, please, if you have any rooms available," Felix requested, returning the smile. His face was still noticeably flushed from the previous complication, something Ralph noted endearingly.

"Of course! We have several rooms available. And between you and me, we _never_ run out." The girl (her nametag read 'Melissa The Manager') winked, turning quickly to the computer screen before her. She tapped a few buttons on the keyboard before looking up thoughtfully. "Oh, are you two on your honeymoon? We have a nice little suite I think you'd like—"

_"WHAT?!"_

"Ralph! _Shh_!"

"Something wrong, sir?"

"M-Ma'am, I think you've got it all wrong! We're just friends!" stammered Felix, his face flaring up all over again, in a manner honeyglows wouldn't even _begin_ to describe. Ralph lost most of his composure, too, considering his face was just as red and his language just as incoherent.

"Yeah! I—he means—no, wait, see—_argh_—"

"Oh, I'm sorry, sirs," Melissa said innocently, her knowing blue eyes twinkling. "You two just look like a _really_ cute couple."

"O-Oh...Uhm, thank you?"

"You're welcome, sir. How many rooms?"

"Two...but, could they please be next to each other?"

"Right away!" The manager punched a code into the computer and withdrew a few cards from a small beeping box of sorts. She handed them a few brochures and two envelopes. "The keys are in there. Two for each room. Feel free to call the front desk if you have any questions. Have a nice day!"

"You, too, thanks," breathed Felix in relief, accepting the papers. Offering the manager a wary grin, he hopped down from Ralph's hold and shakily led their small group towards the elevators.

"Why's your face all red?" Vanellope waved a hand in front of his eyes, pouting. When he didn't respond, she diverted her attention to a still-blushing Ralph. "Your face's red, too, stinkbrain!"

"What? No, it's not!" scoffed the large man defiantly, preoccupying himself with carrying their luggage as a means of distraction. He had to admit...that Melissa girl's words struck a chord deep within him. Naturally, he had no idea _why_.

Like he had no idea why Felix's presence had been causing him a lot of problems lately. Inside and out.

Especially inside.

"They're both red," Calhoun dismissed, eyeing her distracted boyfriend concernedly. She nudged him forward when the elevator doors opened, since he'd failed to move the first time around. Fortunately, nobody else entered after them. _Un_fortunately, the atmosphere remained awkward as heck.

"What floor to?" the pretty sergeant sighed, as an attempt to lighten the mood. She normally _hated_ doing these kinds of things...but she wasn't going to risk an uncomfortable week off. It worked, though; Felix snapped back to reality. He fumbled with the envelopes and hurriedly read the writing on the front.

"Twelfth floor...rooms one-one-oh-two and one-one-oh-three," he recited, his voice a little hoarse. Vanellope bounded for the buttons and quickly pressed the one labeled "12". She gasped as the elevator whirred and began to ascend, pointing happily to the back wall. "It's moving! I can see everything!"

"It's a glass wall!" Felix grinned and happily joined the young girl at her spot pressed against the see-through wall. They "_ooh_"-ed and "_aah_"-ed in unison, fully absorbed in the apparent 'floating' box.

Meanwhile, Ralph kept to himself, scooting as far away from the handyman as he possibly could. Calhoun noticed this strange, abrupt behavior, but said nothing. She figured it wasn't her place to ask, anyway.

The elevator came to a smooth halt, the glowing symbols above the doors reading "**Floor: 12**". Vanellope and Felix were visibly disappointed, having had so much fun staring at the breathtaking sights at such high elevation.

"C'mon, _kids_," teased Calhoun as she ushered them out of the box, falling into place behind Ralph. She heard Felix promise Vanellope that they would later ride the elevator all the way to the top floor and back, something that made the young girl cheer. She and Ralph both snickered a bit, sharing an amused smirk.

"Over here!" Felix called happily, pointing to an elegant sign on the wall. "It says our rooms are this way."

"But nobody's up here," observed Vanellope in a hushed whisper, unused to the silence of the empty hallways. Ralph waved a hand dismissively, and almost dropped a bag in the process.

"Everybody's probably _sleeping_," he muttered, following Felix down a different aisle. "It's still technically night outside."

"That's true. We should really get to sleep... We have a long week ahead of us," the smaller man murmured, eyes darting back and forth from room number to room number as he slowly made his way down the rows of doors. Towards the end, he caught sight of "**1102**" and pumped a fist in the air. "Here we are!"

"Which is our room, Fix-It?"

"You can have the next one! It's in the corner... Vanellope might like the view from there..."

"Good job, stinkbrain," the black-haired girl giggled as Ralph set the mint-green, hard candy suitcase beside her. He grinned toothily and passed Calhoun her dark gray bag, as well.

"Thank you, Soldier."

"'S all good..." he yawned, yearning already for the warm, soft bed no doubt waiting for them on the other side of the door. Felix obviously noticed this, for he chuckled and swiped their card key in the slit provided, unlocking their room.

"Good night, gals! We'll meet up out here tomorrow morning for breakfast."

"Alright. 'Night, boys."

"Nighty-night, stinkies!"

"I'm _beat_," admitted Felix softly as the other two vanished into their own room, pushing the door all the way open. Ralph quickly ambled in after him, carelessly depositing their bags somewhere off to the side. "I'm so glad...that...that..."

Felix trailed off.

They had just been admiring the beauty and loveliness of their welcoming, homey room when they realized that they were lacking one bed.

Instead, in the middle of the room stood a large, heart-shaped four-poster, aligned with several fluffy pillows and a gorgeous velvet duvet. There were rose petals scattered all over, and a few unlit candles peppered here and there. A bucket of what could only be champagne was propped on a small table beside a large red box.

_The Honeymoon Room._

"Oh. My. _Land_..."

* * *

**A/N: First multi-chap fic for this fandom! Woo!**

**This is for Melissa Felton 8! She owns this awesome plot! I hope I don't disappoint you, girl...**

**Just a heads up: this one might be a bit more suggestive than my other Ralphix fics ;)**

**I know Calhoun's first name is Tamora. But I have a reason for Felix calling her 'Jean'! That's for later, though...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Wreck-It Ralph or Mario. Melissa owns her OC. And I...made up the hotel name Dx**

**Until next chapter! Which I promise will be filled with so much RalphXFelix that you'll die~**


	2. Day 1: Lollipops and Moonlight

_Warning: Slash alert. Yaoi. You know the drill._

* * *

"So...how was your guys' night?"

"Oh...Uhm..."

"It was...er..."

Well...

It was _interesting_ to say the least.

* * *

"Jiminy jaminy..."

"She gave us the room anyway! Even after we told her we _weren't_ a couple!"

"Oh, I'm sure she just made a mistake..." Felix murmured, curiously inspecting more of their spontaneous sleeping quarters. Red velvet was obviously the theme...mixed in white, silver, and gold...and really, really fluffy carpet. "The floor looks so comfortable!"

"There's a reason for that..." muttered Ralph under his breath, face flushing as he caught sight of the mirror on the ceiling. _Above_ the bed. Those _sick_ people...

"I almost wanna get on my knees and touch it _everywhere_!"

"...and _there's_ the reason," sighed the wrecker, scowling at the rose petals all over the floor. They kept getting stuck between his toes and it was just so _annoying_...

"What's in this red box?" the lighter brunette wondered as he picked up the object in question. He inspected it carefully, checking each individual side as though expecting to see a clue. When he found none, he shrugged and slipped the lid off. "Ooh. These wrappers look real fancy...I think they're lollipops...but without the stick!"

"Give me that, Felix!" Ralph suddenly called sharply, pulling the offending item away from his best friend's hands. The smaller man blinked at him innocently, eyes wide in surprise. Blushing uncontrollably, the wrecker firmly sealed the box, ignoring the tiny complaints from his companion. He glanced around the room for a place to hide the devious little thing, his eyes finally landing on the closet door.

"Ralph! I was looking at that!"

"There's nothing worth looking at!"

"Then why are you hiding it? What's wrong with the lollipops?"

"They're _not_ lollipops, Felix!" groaned Ralph exasperatedly, tossing the box on the highest shelf of the empty storage space. When he checked back on the handyman, he inwardly panicked.

Felix was looking through _everything_.

_Everything_.

"This fridge is all nifty...but why's ours filled with whipped cream and chocolate syrup?"

"There're _handcuffs_ in this drawer! Maybe some cops slept here before us!"

"More lollipops!"

"These chocolates have funny words on the wrapper!"

"What's _'lube'_? The bathroom has tons of it!"

"These people must really like lollipops..."

"Are you okay, Ralph? You're on the floor and your face's all red..."

_Why. Did. Felix. Have. So. Much. Energy?_

_And what perverts designed this room?!_

"Felix...if you care at all about my well-being, you will stay put and _leave this stuff alone_," Ralph all but hissed, frustrated and overwhelmed. At his unintentionally-harsh tone, Felix shrunk back, his features undeniably hurt. He frowned and lowered his head in shame, pulling his hat over his eyes.

"Sorry...I'll be quiet now..."

But Ralph, alarmed by the sudden sullenness of his counterpart's words, immediately bolted upright and vigorously shook his head. "Hey...no, that's not what I meant! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

"No, it's fine...I guess I was acting too squirrelly, huh?"

"No! You didn't do anything wrong! You're _perfect_!" blurted the larger man suddenly, making the both of them blush red. He tripped over his words, sounding nothing less than an absolute bumbling baboon. Felix, for his part, smiled goofily and tipped his hat at his partner cutely.

"Shucks...thank you, Ralph!"

"Y-yeah...uhm...maybe we should sleep now... Like you said, big day ahead of us and all..."

"Good point! I'm tired again..." chuckled the fix-it man, pulling his cap off. He yawned and turned towards the bed, only to pause in his actions as a new problem surfaced:

Their sleeping arrangements.

The thing with a heart-shaped bed was that there were _no_ determined _'sides'_; towards the ends, it curved, leaving them with less-than-satisfactory foot-room if they chose to sleep there. In other words, they both actually needed to scoot in the very _middle_ to make this whole thing work. Especially since Ralph was _giant_.

"Uhm..."

"Do you want me to sleep on the floor, or...?"

"No, no! We can fit, Ralph. It'll just be a little snug and tight in there..."

Ralph knew he'd been spending too much time with Zangief and Satine when the first thing he thought was _"That's what she said!"_

He really should stop going to Tapper's with his friends...

"C'mon, Ralph, join me on the fluffy bed!" Felix beamed, tugging his hand towards the four-poster. Ralph stared at their joined hands in unexplainable giddiness, getting _way_ too many emotions from the simple act than he should have. Friends didn't hold hands...friends didn't make each other feel like this.

And they were just friends, right?

Surely these feelings were _platonic_...

Otherwise, that would mean that he saw Felix the same light the little hero saw Calhoun. Would mean that he might actually like Felix in _that_ way. Would mean that there was a tiny possibility that he was in love...with...

H-ha! What a stupid idea. He didn't love Fix-It Felix, Jr. like that.

...

So why did it feel so _right_ to climb into bed with him? Why was he so warm and happy to have Felix pressed up against his body as they attempted to find a reasonable spot to sleep on? Why did he love the way the handyman grinned and whispered "G'night, best friend!" to him and him only, with those shining baby-blue orbs and cute round nose...and...and...

What was going _on_?

"...good night..._Lixie_..."

* * *

"Hello? I asked a question."

"It was good," Ralph replied tightly, spearing three sausages with his fork and cramming everything into his mouth. "'ere fn."

"Wreck-It Ralph!" reprimanded Felix quickly, glaring in disapproval at his friend's actions. "Don't talk with your mouth full! And on that note, take smaller bites!"

"Listen to your wife," Calhoun evenly stated, taking a swig of her black coffee. She smirked at Ralph when he threw her an annoyed look, unfazed.

"Can we go swimming today?" interrupted Vanellope, no longer interested with whatever the adults were arguing about. Plus, she disagreed with what Felix had said; _her_ eating habits were just as impressive as _Ralph's, _if not better. "I think they have a slide and everything!"

"Sure, we could do that first," agreed the handyman, scooping a forkful of eggs into his mouth. He glanced over at his counterpart to ask for his input on that day's activity, but stopped short when he noticed the other man's sloppy state. "Jiminy jaminy! Your mouth's a mess!"

"Wha?"

"Chew, don't speak." Tutting, Felix grabbed a napkin from the table and climbed onto Ralph's knee, carefully dabbing at the food stains around his friend's lips. The wrecker's face immediately reddened deeply at the rather domestic act, and he forced his eyes away from the very-focused handyman.

All this Calhoun carefully noted, something she couldn't say she was quite pleased about. "Fix-It," she barked in annoyance, startling the man in question into dropping the napkin, "sit down, soldier. You look silly."

"Oh." Finally realizing the implication of his actions, Felix sheepishly grinned at both his girlfriend and best friend, clambering back down to his seat. His face was noticeably pink, but that had little to do with the fact he'd been caught.

_Ralph...has the prettiest eyes._

Why hadn't he noticed before? They were gorgeous. Chocolate brown, expressive, so, so perfect...

Uhm. Or so he'd been told. Yeah.

That was it.

"I think I'll go back to bed," Ralph suddenly announced, jumping to his feet. Vanellope dropped her spoon of pudding in surprise and gaped at her closest friend.

"_What_? You can't leave now! We're going swimming, remember?"

"You guys go ahead," mumbled the brunette with a sigh, shaking his head. He hated going against Vanellope's wishes; he tried as often as he could not to do so. But right now, his friendship with Felix was at stake. He needed to sort this out first. Fun later. "I'm tired."

"You just woke up!"

"Well, I need more sleep." Dismissively, he walked off, waving over his shoulder. His heart clenched painfully when Felix stared at him in disappointment, his eyes unlit. He held a hand up in farewell, though, but that only lasted until Calhoun reached over and touched the side of his cheek...

_Damn it_, Ralph thought as he scrambled into his room, the image of the couple still fresh in his mind.

He grabbed the **'do not disturb'** sign from the doorknob and hung that outside, his mind still reeling.

Felix was_ dating Calhoun._

Felix had a _girlfriend_.

How could he forget?

Of course he'd never feel the same way. Of course those friendly gestures meant nothing, held no significant implications.

Of course Ralph was insane for even considering the possibility that...that...

No! He wouldn't even _think_ about it.

He was just going to stay locked up in this room—this taunting, _unmerciful_ room—until he could sort himself out.

...Well, as sorted out as he could get, anyway.

A soft knock on the door woke him up from his conflicting thoughts. He panicked for a spilt second, before diving into the bed and throwing the covers around him. Ironically enough, he found his face buried into the shirt Felix wore yesterday, the smell of the handyman still fresh...so very _enticing_.

_Kill me now..._

"Ralph?" a tentative voice spoke, the sound of the door closing accompanying it. "You okay, buddy?"

_Buddy_, thought Ralph disdainfully, screwing his eyes shut and attempting to even out his breathing. He must've done a pretty good job fake-sleeping, for he heard Felix sigh and mutter, "Good job, Felix...he couldn't sleep last night all thanks to you..."

Ralph felt bad for that. Almost bad enough to _conveniently_ wake up and assure his friend that his presence _wasn't_ the reason—

Well. Actually, it _was_. But not because it was uncomfortable or awkward. If anything, it had felt too good, and Ralph hadn't been able to sleep because he'd been trying so very hard to _not_ reach over and...pull him into his arms.

For body heat. I-It was cold last night.

Yup. _That_ was the _only_ reason he wanted to hold Felix's tiny, precious body and keep him close to his chest and—

Uhm…

He said body heat, didn't he?

Tugging the sheets closer around himself, he let out a tiny breath. He heard Felix shuffle around the room wordlessly, probably looking for his swimming trunks. Ralph sincerely hoped he wouldn't peek inside the box again... It was doubtful that he could handle hearing any more about those "weird lollipops".

"Sweet dreams, Ralphy," he suddenly heard a soft, gentle voice whisper beside him, a hand patting his head carefully. Ralph almost forgot how to breathe then and there, almost dropped his unconscious charade. He barely kept it together, and it was fortunate that Felix stepped out of the room almost instantly after that questionable parting.

"...he…called me _'Ralphy'_..."

And those words—plus that rather affectionate, fleeting touch—were all he thought about for the next hour.

Even after he'd already dozed off.

* * *

_"I _love_ you." Kiss. "I _need_ you." Embrace. "You're all I _want_."_

_"_Felix_..." he gasped, falling on his back. They were in the middle of a game. On the roof. He couldn't break character _now_. "What are you doing? Th-They can see us!"_

_"Shh," the handyman silenced him, holding a finger to his lips. "Nobody else matters. Just you and me, gorgeous."_

_"G-Gorgeous?" he stammered, unable to move. Terribly confused, he could do nothing but watch the hero of his game crawl onto his stomach, scooting so very close to his face that they could count each other's eyelashes._

_"Kiss me again...tell me how much you love me..."_

_"B-But...I don't..."_

_"Really? Sorry, but I don't believe you." Felix grinned mischievously at him and grabbed the sides of his face, their lips now centimeters apart. "Let me change your mind anyway."_

He awoke to an armful of pillow and a rather sweaty body.

For a long moment, he just laid there, staring blankly at the ceiling mirror's reflection.

He saw a red-faced, worn-out fat guy with a bucketful of conflicting, confusing emotions.

_That poor loser..._

Groaning, he tugged at his chafing, uncomfortable clothes in annoyance, his body warm and overheating beneath them. Perhaps a nice cold bath would soothe his nerves...

God...what was _up_ with that dream?

He and Felix acted so..._coupley_. And goo-goo ga-ga for each other.

They weren't like that...

He didn't want him to be like that...

..._right_?

The bad thing about moving about just seconds after waking up was that one tended to be a little..._off_ and oblivious to the world around them when they did. Like Ralph, for example, who carelessly walked into the bathroom, rubbing his eyes and yawning, without even noticing that the shower was already on and occupied.

It wasn't until he caught sight of an unaware, bathing Felix did he realize that maybe he really should've pulled his act together first before getting up.

But, oh _boy_, was he wide awake _now_.

Because this was the Honeymoon Room and the designers of the place were _perverts_, there were no shower curtains or things of the like. Instead, a see-through, clear glass cylinder surrounded the shower, placing the occupant on clear display, where _everything_ was _visible_.

Assuming that said occupant was bare naked.

Felix, however, was not.

He was safely clad in dark-blue swimming trunks, having obviously just gotten back from the indoor pool.

To Ralph, this was both a blessing and a curse.

Commence _drooling_.

Felix was _beautiful_. Gorgeous. Drop-dead gorgeous. His skin was perfect and smooth and creamy, droplets of water clinging everywhere, looking like sweat (he got _way_ too excited from that than healthy). His hair wasn't anally tidy as usual but wet, all over his forehead, covering parts of his eyes. And his physique! Who knew he was hiding all that _muscle_ underneath his simple work clothes?

His biceps were especially _perfect_. They weren't overwhelmingly large and unrealistic, but noticeably visible and proportional to his tiny body. (And this pretty much went for the rest of the muscles all over his hot body).

No doubt from all the fixing he did everyday...

_What else can he fix?_

And that was when it came to Ralph that his thoughts were slowly becoming less platonic and more unhealthy.

Because it wasn't very platonic to want to jump into the shower and pull Felix into his arms and get rid of those stupid swimming trunks and...and...

_I'd wreck that._

He wasn't just admiring his best friend's physical appearance anymore...

He was _desiring_ it.

And not in an envious manner, either. Not in the same way he used to want Felix's life back before he went Turbo.

No...

This was completely different.

And it _terrified_ him.

* * *

For the whole rest of the day, he couldn't stop thinking about _Felix_.

How nice he looked...how adorable he was in general...how everything he did was just so freaking nice and thoughtful and..._gah_!

Why couldn't Ralph get him out of his mind?!

"Hey, Ralph," the _majestic_ little angel asked him with wide _majestic_ blue eyes and an equally as _majestic_ smile, "what do you wanna do for the rest of today?"

And that _majestic_ voice. Like a thousand angels singing in a wondrous symphony.

...either he was really in love or he had too much access to root beer...

Or maybe a little of both...

_You_, was what Ralph wanted to say, out of the cheekiness from the drink. But what really left his mouth was, "Whatever you want."

Which, at this point, he hoped was _him_.

Bad Ralph.

"Well, honestly, I just wanna sit back and relax with my best friend," bashfully admitted Felix, smiling deliciously at him from his perch on the edge of the bed. With his freshly-showered hair—his messier-than-usual, mind-numbingly _naughty-looking_ hair—and that charming grin on his face (plus the fact that Ralph couldn't stop thinking of his naked chest), it was a wonder he that hadn't been pounced upon sooner.

So it wasn't all that surprising when his giant-fisted predator finally _did_ decide to pounce.

The larger program, still under the spell of root beer and infatuation, gave him a bold, daring smolder, eyes half-lidded, tongue poking out. He licked his lips and waggled his eyebrows as he bluntly_ checked Felix out,_ heart hammering away in his huge chest. With a shaking hand, he dropped the now-empty glass bottle onto the floor with a thunk, a bit uncoordinated.

"R-Ralph?" Felix stammered, frozen in place as he watched his closest friend saunter over to him, still with that lecherous smirk. His face was in flames, his heart a train loosing control as it plummeted down a steep hill. He could do nothing but gape as Ralph bent down, pressed their noses together—oh land, it felt warm, _amazing_—and brought their lips so close that they could feel each other _breathing_.

Closing his eyes, not quite sure what was going on, the handyman leaned in, surprisingly eager for what he didn't know was to come.

_Ralphy..._

But they never touched, never got to feel the much-talked about fireworks.

He only got an awkward "sorry" and a tired sigh.

_What?_

"...Ralph...? Where are you going...?" Felix asked breathlessly, watching the wrecker pull away slowly with a pained grimace on his face. He reached out to grab one of Ralph's fingers, but the taller of the two had already withdrawn and was heading for the exit.

"I-I'm taking a walk. Don't wait up..."

Without a backwards glance, he left, the door shutting tightly behind him.

"...Ralphy...?"

* * *

"I almost kissed him! I practically _forced_ myself onto him!"

"Mmm...but that's natural, isn't it? Aren't you supposed to feel that way towards your husband?"

"Listen, lady, I'm tellin' you for the last time! We are _not_ married! We aren't even dating!" Ralph huffed, slamming his root beer mug down onto the bar. He scowled at the grinning Melissa The Manager—who was now playing bartender—wondering to himself why all the females he knew were so aggravatingly _stubborn_.

Or at least really _persistent_.

"You sure? I'm getting those vibes," the tall brunette giggled, sliding down a few drinks to a group of rumbunctious men on the other end of the bar. She only smiled when Ralph continued to glower at her. "Anyway, what did he think about the almost-kiss?"

"I...I don't know..." mumbled the giant man hesitantly, his voice weak and lost. He buried his face in the expanse of his hands, groaning dejectedly. "I left before he coul—"

"Woah, woah, _woah_! Time out! You _left_ him like that?"

"What was I supposed to do?"

"You could've _stayed_," incredulously pointed out the manager, waving her arms in emphasis. "You could've went through with it."

"I don't think you understand; he's my best friend! He has a girlfriend and he's _waaaay_ to good for someone like _me_—"

"You're _perfect _for each other! Anybody can see that!"

"We aren't—" Ralph began, only to be cut off when Melissa all but shoved a solid brass key in his hands. He raised an eyebrow questioningly, which she quickly smirked to.

"Ever taken a nice stroll in the moonlight?" she asked lightly, leaning closer to him from the other side of the bar as though sharing one of her darkest secrets.

"Er...no, I don't think I have..."

"You should. I find that it helps with realizations and confessions." She gave him the thumbs up, winking. "Especially when _two_ parties are involved."

"What are you—?"

"It's a shame that this place is always in daylight, though," continued on the manager with a devious glint in her eye, drumming her fingers on the counter. She pointedly stared at the key she'd just given him, something he successfully caught on to. For once. "But if you go through the back door—near the elevators—and follow the path up the hill, you'll find a nice little dome with a door that this key just so happens to open."

Ralph openly gaped. "You want me to _what_ now?"

Melissa crossed her arms rather victoriously, already sensing that she'd just won her argument. If it was even an argument in the first place. "I want you to find your man and ask him..."

"...to take a stroll with you?" Felix wondered as they leisurely made their way down a clear path hidden behind the hotel. Keeping up with Ralph was an arduous task for the little handyman, seeing that he was only about a tenth of the size as his so-called adversary. To any onlookers, he might as well be jogging. "Ralph?"

"Huh?"

"I asked you why you wanted me to take a stroll with you," patiently repeated the light brunette, his face warm with honeyglows. He didn't dare look Ralph in the eye, lest he embarrass the both of them.

After all...ever since the spontaneous and heated incident that had occurred a few hours ago, he couldn't help but stop and _notice_ things about Ralph that he never had before.

Like how Ralph had an _extremely_ handsome face and extremely enticing, messy hair in the most amazing shade of brown. How Ralph had a smile that just melted him into goo, how sweetly quirky the gap between his top front teeth was. How Ralph's body was actually quite desirable despite him being nine-hundred pounds, how his huge hands—soft and calloused at the same time—just added to his general appeal. How his overalls fitted so adorably on him, how his bare feet looked like the most precious things ever...

Goodness gracious, Felix just wanted to hug him and _never_ ever let go...

"Eh...I just figured if Vanellope and Calhoun can have their girls' day thing, why not have one, too? But for guys. W-we're guys," he added quickly, his voice faltering as his neck and face and ears began to redden. He kept his eyes facing straight ahead, in fear of acting impulsively, of perhaps acting it out on Felix. Fortunately, they were already halfway up the hill, the sunlight not quite as severe as they neared the top. It was amazing how many trees and plants they had growing around here; he'd never seen so many in his life.

"Aww, do you have the honeyglows, too?"

"N-no!" Ralph scoffed, unintentionally picking up his pace, leaving poor tiny Felix several paces behind. He pretty much had to run to catch up, but he remained grinning. "It's just really hot out."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. _Phew_! We need shade." He paused then, pointing casually to the dome a few feet away that Melissa had directed him to. "Hey, why don't we go over there?" _In that convenient, totally-random, I-had-no-idea-existed building._

"Are we allowed to?" anxiously whispered Felix as they approached the metallic double doors, glancing around for any signs of bystanders in a manner not unlike of a shy bookworm hanging out with the school bullies for the first time.

Ralph inwardly chuckled at his friend's innocence, discreetly slipping the key from his pocket and sliding that into the lock. It opened with a soft _click_, granting them entrance. Heart pounding away in his ribcage, he grabbed the hesitant Felix with one hand and hurried into the complete darkness of the room.

"Woah! You gotta tell me before you do that, Ralph! It scared the jeepers out of me..."

_Click._

All at once, the lights came on.

But not just any lights.

_Stars_.

The darkness around them was oddly similar to the twenty-four hour darkness back home at the Fix-It Felix, Jr. game. The only difference, however, besides the infinite expanse of stars covering the night sky, winking happily at them, was the large, breathtaking pure-white full moon. Silently majestic, silently shining.

_Moonlit stroll, huh?_

"I've never seen it like this before," gasped Felix as he took in the midnight scenery, removing his blue hat and holding it to his chest. He scooted closer to his counterpart until their sides were touching, his arm against Ralph's hand. Shyly, he nuzzled him. "It's _beautiful_."

The wrecker ripped his gaze from the captivating sight to stare at his friendly companion, whose face shone in the moonlight, whose baby-blue orbs sparkled in the glow. When they met each other's gazes, Ralph's jaw slacked, his heart lost control. "Yeah," he choked, falling down on one knee, placing a hand behind the other's back, his eyes never leaving Felix's awestruck face, "_you are_."

And that was the last thing he remembered before they both closed their eyes, leaned in, and pressed their lips together for the first time.

Endless fireworks.

* * *

**A/N: I love Ralph x Felix. In case that wasn't already painfully obvious x)**

**I am the pervert who designed the Honeymoon Room, Ralph. You might like it now, though. **

**As for the shower scene, all credit goes to the awesome Melissa Felton 8. I wouldn't be able to come up with that on my own~**

**I would think that Felix is so painfully innocent that he doesn't know half of the things going on in the Room. Like those stickless lollipops. Lol.**

**I'm gunna try to update sooner. Just a bunch of things came up this week... UGH. **

**Just a quick little note: upon further inspection of Felix, I came a rather late conclusion that he is, in fact, a brunette. But because I'm lazy, I will leave my other fics alone in which I called him blonde. Just a heads-up there xD**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything. Le sigh.**


	3. Day 2: Kissing at the Carnival

_Warning: slashy content. Yaoi, sexy guy x adorable guy. Ralph x Felix fluff and all that good stuff. _

* * *

There was nothing better than spending time with one's boyfriend.

Boy. Friend. Not best friend. Best friends didn't kiss each other senseless in hidden observatories behind hotels.

Ralph was in bed, having just woken up, with his _boyfriend_.

Fix-It Felix, Jr.

Oh yeah, he said it.

"Mmm..._Felix_..." he whispered against the other's lips as they made out for the first time that morning. Thank goodness their room had such a soft mattress... Much, much more comfortable than the dome building's wooden floors.

Felix only smiled into the kiss, opening his mouth to allow Ralph more entrance. At this point, they'd already gotten _that_ down to an art, had already memorized the inside of each other's mouths.

It only took an hour of furious kissing to pull off.

No biggie.

"Love ya," the wrecker murmured into his counterpart's ear as he trailed kisses down the side of his face, down to his chin, then up the other. He nibbled a bit on his new boyfriend's ear, loving the tiny shudder he received in response.

"I love you _more_," cooed Felix happily, stroking tiny circles on his shoulder blades, smiling so sweetly that it was almost criminal.

"Is that possible?" Ralph grinned, flipping their position so that he was on top. He waggled his eyebrows at his newfound beloved suggestively, running a finger through his light brown locks—_honey chestnut_, he secretly decided. Felix sighed blissfully, biting his lip to keep from squealing.

"Mmm-hmm. I do believe so..."

"Prove it, then," whispered the wrecker challengingly, nipping at his ear. Felix gasped in surprise, throwing his arms around Ralph's neck and pulling him _closer_.

Challenge _accepted_.

With a look of absolute determination, the handyman began peppering kisses all over his boyfriend's face, hot and searing. He switched gears and worked his way downwards, sucking on the exposed flesh on Ralph's neck. Felix pulled back and smugly examined the large bruise that had begun to form, mentally patting himself on the back for returning the favor from last night (Ralph had marked him generously; he had the hickeys to prove it.)

"Mine," breathed Felix as he applied the same treatment to the other side of the larger man's neck, leaving a trail of small lovemarks across his chest. Ralph only laughed, his hand resting easily on the smaller man's back, eyeing him rather predatorily. He let out a low moan from the burning sensation that Felix left after each nip, his eyes glazed with love.

"_You're_ mine," Ralph announced with finality, slamming their lips together once more. Admittedly, he might have been a little forceful and much more dominating. But also admittedly, Felix seemed not to mind one bit.

If the demanding mewls coming out of his mouth were anything to go by, of course.

"Property. Of. _Ralph_," the wrecker whispered huskily, a kiss after each word. He ran his tongue up and down the light brunette's jawline, inwardly beaming at the quiet giggles that Felix couldn't hold in.

"Hahaha! R-Ralphy, stop...that tickles."

"Oh? Are you ticklish, Felix?"

"H-huh? _No_! No, wait, I—"

Too late. Ralph had already jumped onto that opportunity; holding Felix firmly in place, he deviously began lapping at the squirming man's ear, which seemed to be a rather sensitive part of his body.

He wasn't disappointed at the reaction.

His lover's loud, unrepressed peals of laughter were endearing. The irresistible, delightful smile on the handyman's face made him lose his mind.

How could he have possibly landed this man? What had he done to deserve him?

Maybe he was finally getting his medal, after all...

"Hahaha! S-stop! Ralphy! P-ple—_hahahaha_! Please!"

"Aww, but you look so cute like that! I don't wanna!"

"No! _Hahahaha_! Oh, have _mercy_, Ralph! I'll do anything!"

_Anything?_ Ralph mentally inquired, his mind—once again—wavering in the more unhealthy part of his brain. He and Felix were together now...surely they would be able to do _that_ soon. Maybe not now, but it was possible right?

Relationships became physical...theirs would hopefully be no exception.

"Because you asked so nicely," the giant fake-sighed, finally allowing his near-hysterical lover to catch his breath. Felix clutched at his sides as he rode off the last few waves of giggles, his body curling up on the bed. "Calm down, baby."

The handyman froze at that.

_Damn_, Ralph thought in panic, cursing at his stupidity and tactlessness. Why would he blurt that out? Felix probably thought he was silly! They never even agreed to nicknames! What if he didn't want one? What if he found it to be too much? What if...?

"You called me 'baby'..." the light brunette whispered softly as he sat up, staring in awe at his blushing companion. Who, for some reason, looked a little ashamed.

"Y-yeah...sorry, it just slipped o—"

"I _love_ it."

"E-Eh?"

"You're so sweet," gasped Felix as he pressed himself against the wrecker, closing his eyes at the warmth their bodies shared, at the overwhelming scent that was undeniably Ralph's, the scent that made his head spin and mouth drool.

He was coo-coo crazy for Ralph.

He was _sure_ of it.

"You're not mad...?"

"Why would I be mad? You just made my day! Heck, you just made my _life_." Smiling gently, Felix pressed their mouths together once more, taking Ralph's index fingers in his hands. When they pulled apart, the large brunette brought the tiny hands in his hold to his lips and kissed them lovingly each, front and back.

"Can I call you 'Lixie', too?"

"Whatever you want...honey."

"Oh, too cute!"

And just like that, they were back in the mood, and Ralph now hovered over his boyfriend on the bed, on his elbows on either side of Felix's body. The handyman, who was pushed to his back, busied himself with stroking his counterpart's cheek, murmuring secret declarations of love.

"Felix. Lixie. Baby." Ralph muttered as he kissed all over his lover's face; both his cheeks, his eyelids, his adorable nose. His forehead and chin and temples and around his mouth. Everywhere but his lips. Everywhere but the one part he knew was the most desired.

"...Ralphy..." breathed Felix as soft kisses rained all over his features. He trembled at the feeling of being loved so sweetly and delicately. He whimpered at the sensations he'd never felt before. It was all _too much_...he could barely handle it all.

"Felix...would—would it be okay...if...we..."

"...yeah?"

"If maybe...you and I...could ha—"

_Knock-knock-knock._

"Yo! Stinkies!"

_KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK._

"Time to get up!"

**_KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK!_**

"Hey! C'mon! We have lots to do today!"

"_Damn_," groaned Ralph as he sat up and freed his caged boyfriend, who he helped into a sitting position with a finger. He was pleasantly surprised when the smaller man then clambered onto his lap and quickly kissed him.

With tongue.

And some teeth.

Ralph's mind: _blown_.

"That was for a while ago!" he chirped when they separated, jumping down from their spot on the bed. On his way to get the door, he bashfully sent Ralph a flying kiss over his shoulder, something that had the larger man falling back onto the bed with a dazed look on his face and a goofy smile on his lips. "And don't swear, Ralphy~!"

"Whatever you say..." Ralph mumbled as he stared at the lovestruck fool on the ceiling. It was amazing how much his attitude towards the room had changed; now that he was finally with Felix, he recently came to the realization that he could actually use the suite's ammunition.

For example, the mirror. It would come in handy. _Definitely_.

As he secretly made plans for that evening—it would involve the red box and the hot tub in the bathroom—he distinctly heard Vanellope animatedly chatting with Felix. He couldn't exactly hear what she was going on about, but he sincerely hoped that it wouldn't involve getting shirtless.

If he saw Felix in the pool, wet and dripping, well...all bets would be off.

Among other things.

"Okay...okay, we'll be down as soon as we're ready. Take your time, okay? Look for other things we can do."

"Are you kidding? I got that all planned out!"

_Me, too_, Ralph deviously thought as goodbyes were exchanged at the door. He felt Felix climb back into bed and onto his torso, letting his hands roam up and down his rather impressive chest.

"Let's get ready...I'm gonna go ahead and take a shower first, okay?" the light brunette murmured, grinning jovially at him. Ralph nodded in response, stealing one more kiss before they temporarily parted.

"I'm gonna miss you," he announced playfully, watching the handyman make his way to the bathroom, shaking his head in amusement.

"I'll miss you more!" he called as he disappeared behind the red door, the sound of running water soon taking the place of his sweet voice.

Then Ralph smirked to himself.

_Next time, I'll be in there with him._

And that was a freaking _promise_.

* * *

"They have a _what_ now, Vanellope?"

"A carnival! I don't know what it is, but the huge sign in the lobby said it's gunna be fun!" the young girl exclaimed, accidentally flinging her fork in excitement. They watched in morbid fascination as the utensil spiraled in the air, heading straight for the wall. But before it could, a passing employee nonchalantly snatched it midair, looking not in the least miffed.

"Be more careful, kid, you almost killed that guy," sighed Ralph as he dubiously handed the little president another fork to finish her scrambled eggs with. She smiled innocently and returned to gushing about the intriguing attraction.

"We'll go, right? Right? Carnivals are part of vacations, aren't they?"

"Sure, we could go! It sounds like fun!" agreed Felix readily, his bright face putting even the _sun_ to shame. He couldn't help it, either; he was just so, _so_ happy! Anything and everything seemed like a good idea to him. As long as he was with Ralph—as long as he got to spend time with his_ sweet, affectionate man_—he didn't really care much about what they were doing.

If Vanellope offered to go cybug-hunting (and if Ralph was involved), he'd gladly join the fun in a heartbeat.

"Then I guess I have no choice," muttered the wrecker into his mug of hot chocolate, pretending to look a little bit put-off. But when he met Felix's eyes over the drink, he winked mischievously in greeting.

Cheeks darkening, the handyman carefully willed his gaze away from his smug lover and forced a few more bites of bacon into his system. He turned his Ralph-struck attention to Calhoun, who was idly listening to Vanellope, a half-empty bowl of cereal in her possession. "What do you think, Jean?"

"Hmm? Oh, me? I don't care." She shrugged, calmly resting her chin on her hand. He opened his mouth to ask about her morning, but she suddenly reached over and wiped the corner of his mouth with her thumb. "You eat like a starving hyena in a graveyard, Fix-It."

"Pardon me!" he laughed, wiping the rest of his mouth with a napkin. Though he said nothing at the moment, he did notice Ralph stiffen in his seat, a fact that had him instantly (and guiltily) worrying. While his girlfriend—soon-to-be _ex_—diverted her attention back to the black-haired child, he reached underneath the table and soothingly patted his boyfriend's knee._ "I love you,"_ he mouthed inconspicuously, privately, as a reminder of their recent, beautiful discovery. Ralph eyed him warily, but quickly relented to his pleading, puppy-dog eyes.

"You owe me," he whispered under his breath, stroking the back of the smaller man's hand—still on his knee—with an index finger. Felix smiled softly at him and nodded amiably.

"I'll be glad to."

"What're you two whisperin' over there?" cut in a sharp voice, interrupting their admittedly-obvious flirtatious back-and-forth. They flinched in unison, only to huddle closer together—out of fear, this time—when Calhoun glared searing hot daggers at their faces.

"N-nothing, Jean! Just friendly banter."

"Don't look like just friendly banter."

_None of your business_, Ralph almost said, but he resisted the urge and instead kept his mouth shut. He wanted nothing more than to pull Felix into his arms and kiss him deeply and furiously. He wanted to prove to Calhoun who exactly had the handyman's heart, who exactly he belonged to.

He wanted to show her who was _boss_.

_Felix's_ boss, that was.

"It is, Jeany. What else would it be?"

"Ralph and Felix sittin' on a tree!" sang Vanellope out of nowhere, waving her fork like a conductor's baton, "_K-I-S-S-I-N-G_!"

Unintentionally answering Felix's previous question.

Smart girl.

Calhoun's eyes narrowed and she glared at them suspiciously. The child's playful jingle obviously made more sense to her than it probably should've. For a split second, she actually considered the fact that...

"Grow up, President Poo-Poo."

"Hah! Never, Booger-Brain!"

"We'll see about that—"

"Vanellope! When are we going to that carnival?" asked Felix, a bit embarrassed with his boyfriend's slight-potty mouth. Though technically, he didn't actually say any bad words...

But _seriously_. Poo wasn't appropriate...

"Oh, yeah! Let's go now!" the pretty racer enthusiastically exclaimed, jumping down from her seat. She grinned at them expectantly and they quickly scrambled to their feet, just in case she decided to run off to the event herself. Ralph dutifully helped her up onto his shoulders, and he barely resisted the impulse to offer Felix the same. "Carnival! Yay!"

"Yay..."

_Yay indeed_, thought Calhoun as her mind readily began to form a plan.

Or at the very least, an _experiment_.

* * *

The only way to the carnival was through another train, just as extravagant and beautiful as the one from Grant Central Station.

But they still had to walk to the platform.

Hence Calhoun began her game.

Right now, her goal was to check for reactions. Specifically, _Ralph's_.

While they made their trek to the station, she casually fell into pace between the wrecker and her boyfriend. When she knew that they were aware of her blocking their view of each other—Felix smiled sheepishly and Ralph let out an annoyed grunt—she visibly slipped her hand inside the handyman's tiny one, sending him a flirty smirk.

"Hey, shortstack."

"Hello, sweetheart!" politely replied the light brunette, though a little miffed by the sudden display of affection. He squeezed her hand—more out of _curiosity_ than anything else—and she interlaced their fingers.

"Excited?"

"Very much! I can't wait to spend the day with you!" Felix meant to say "all of you," but he figured that the meaning was implied. Ralph, however, did not, and he immediately scowled and angrily—albeit unknowingly—began stomping off with a speed the other two could not match.

Vanellope seemed to be under the impression that her giant friend was just as excited as her, so she jovially encouraged him to "walk faster, stinky!"

"Ralph!" called Felix from a few feet behind, doing his best to catch up while simultaneously keeping his hand locked with the tall sergeant. His counterpart paid him no mind, even when he finally made it next to him, panting. "Don't walk too fast! I almost lost ya there!"

_You did_, mentally huffed Ralph, still avoiding his gaze. Felix obviously realized this, for he instantly and incessantly began to cling onto the large man, obviously seeking for his attention.

Calhoun blinked, her hand suddenly handyman-less.

"Are you excited, too, Ralph? I know am! What do they have there? Let's do whatever they offer!"

"Boy, you're so quiet today! Do you have a stomach ache?"

"You're so _tall_! I wish I were that tall..."

"Could you carry me, too? I want to feel tall!"

Ralph had to admit that Felix's adorableness was effectively chipping away his attempted firm resolve. He was still pretty ticked off at Calhoun, but he definitely didn't mind this bit of extra attention from his lover. "_Fine_," he sighed, patiently holding out his hand to help the smaller man up. But before he could, Calhoun reached down and snagged Felix into her arms, holding him close like a stuffed-animal.

"I can hold you, Fix-It."

"Oh, my! T-thank you kindly, ma'am!" the shorter program sweetly but confusedly stammered, folding his hands carefully above the woman's arms woven around his torso. Normally, a situation like this would've had him on full honeyglows and bliss, but right now, he was more concerned at the fact that Ralph suddenly looked very _murderous_.

Hopefully, not at him. He'd die if Ralph was mad at him.

"I think he asked _me_ to carry him," snapped the wrecker at the unfazed blonde, who continued to stroke Felix's back like a soothing mother would. She rolled her eyes at the fuming man and harrumphed at his daunting death-glare.

"Why should _you_ care? You best be thanking me, actually."

"Why should I_ thank you_?"

"You're welcome, soldier."

"What? No! That's not what I meant and you know it!" Ralph glowered, making a grab for Felix. Calhoun ducked swiftly and maneuvered her way around the giant, jogging a few paces away. She heard the antagonist growl, his heavy footsteps getting closer and closer. Though most would probably quiver from the intimidation of the whole mess, she simply snickered and leisurely strolled up the path to the station.

"Give me him!"

"You're already carrying your own shortsack," she scoffed, blindly gesturing to the fascinated Vanellope with the hand not holding Felix. Ralph took this opportunity to snatch his lover from the sergeant's more-vulnerable arm and promptly deposited him onto his empty shoulder. "Hey!"

"Carnival time!" he called, bolting away and laughing as Calhoun angrily sprinted after them. He mentally sighed when Felix stroked the side of his face, his gloved fingers tickling his cheek. Luckily, Vanellope was too distracted half-encouraging, half-taunting the sergeant in their wake to notice.

"_You're_ my favorite," murmured Felix, his eyes never leaving Ralph's face. "No matter what happens."

"So...so that means you love me, right?" the large man panted as he fell into a jog, now within eyesight of the awaiting train. They could hear Calhoun swearing at him, though neither paid her significant attention.

Except, of course, Vanellope, who then hopped down from her spot on Ralph's shoulder and approached the unamused soldier. "Girl power! Yeah!"

"I definitely love _you_. Why wouldn't I?"

"Just makin' sure...I...you...she..." Ralph trailed off, his eyes downcast. He shuffled his feet, his toes curling and uncurling.

Then, he felt a pair of hands lift his face up.

He saw the most angelic face in the world staring straight into his eyes, nothing but pure love and adoration in those baby blue orbs.

"You know, Ralph," the beautiful angel whispered to him, his hot breath ghosting over his lips, "if we were alone, far away from everybody else, why...I reckon I'd be showing you exactly how much you mean to me."

"H-hah...uhm..."

"Yes, my _handsome_ Ralphy?"

"Tonight, maybe?"

"Tonight, _definitely_."

* * *

Ralph had never understood the phrase 'walking on clouds' until, well, he was walking on clouds.

He seriously felt as though nothing could ruin his good mood. Not even the still-trying-to-make-him-jealous Calhoun.

She could hug and kiss Felix all she wanted. But he knew he had a lot to look forward to back in their room.

The _Honeymoon_ _Room_.

Sometimes, he just felt like telling Calhoun what kind of room they had. If only to see her reaction.

(Priceless for sure.)

The train ride was uneventful. They listened patiently to Vanellope cutely ramble on and on about all the fun they would have at the carnival. She seemed keen on spending more than a day there, an idea that they honestly couldn't oppose.

For his part, Ralph kept to staring at Felix's reflection on the train window. If he didn't think it would give them away, he would've simply pulled the little guy into his arms and stare into his actual face. But such was life.

"This place has _everything_!" Vanellope squealed, hopping up and down in her seat while tugging on his arm, "I almost wanna live here!"

"Me, too," chuckled Ralph, ruffling her hair with a finger. She shrieked and swatted his hand off, giggling uncontrollably.

"Stinky! _Stop_!"

"Sure. 'Sides, your gooey hair was killin' me."

"_My_ gooey hair? When was the last time you took a bath, Professor Pottyface?"

"Ouch. I'll have you know I smell _good_."

"Says who?"

"Says everybody!"

"Nu-uh! Nobody thinks so!"

"Ask anybody, then!"

"Fine! Hey! Hammer-Guy!" Vanellope waved exuberantly at Felix, her eyes sparkling with mischief, "Do you think Ralph smells nice?"

The handyman blinked, cocking his head to the side. He caught Ralph's eye and inwardly laughed at the bit of nervousness his lover unintentionally displayed. "That's an odd question."

"Just tell us! Isn't he stinky and gross?"

"Oh, c'mon, Vanellope. _Seriously_?"

"Is Ralph stinky and gross?" mused Felix thoughtfully, clambering down from his chair. He smiled innocently up at his flushing boyfriend and crawled onto his lap.

"What are you doin'?" muttered Ralph under his breath, gaping at him in shock. But the smaller of the two men only rolled his eyes and leaned forward, pressing his face in the crook of the wrecker's neck.

_Oh, my God...this monster just kissed me..._

While he practically passed out from all the blood that then pooled in his face, Felix sniffed audibly, then pulled back with a wink. "Mmm. He smells fine, Vanellope."

"Maybe your nose's broken," she deadpanned, shaking her head. "No way this stinky smells even a little bit fine."

"He's not stinky, I promise," grinned Felix, his hand lingering a few seconds longer on his friend's shoulder than appropriate. He mouthed "_gorgeous_" to Ralph before quietly returning to his seat, where his girlfriend was thankfully snoozing. And, knowing his lover was gawking at him, he waggled his bottom teasingly.

He didn't need to turn around to know that Ralph had fallen, unmoving and limp, back into his chair.

"Woah! You alive, stinky?"

_Oh, he will be,_ thought Felix with a smirk as he jumped into his own seat, eyeing his lover adoringly, _especially tonight_.

* * *

"Why is this place so huge?!"

"Y-yeah..."

Well, huge would probably be an understatement.

_'Insanely ginormous'_ was more like it.

"What kind of game is this?" breathed Ralph as they slowly but steadily trudged forward in line. About ten booths stood in a curve, several feet apart, handing out tickets to gain entrance to the carnival. More or less fifty or so programs waited in a messy conglomeration behind each, all just as anxious and excited as _they_ were.

And beyond that...

A giant world filled with wonder and excitement, with colorful booths as far as the eye could see, with several contraptions—no doubt the rides—that they never even knew existed. Multitudes of bright buildings and tents towered particularly over the majority of the park, casting shadows of the most delightful colors for the guests to enjoy.

An endless carnival.

And this was just the _outside_.

"Ooh!" Vanellope squealed, pointing to a giant, crystal fountain with color-changing water where kids her size were splashing around in, "Can I go look at that? Can I? Please?"

"Well, someone needs to go with you," Felix pointed out, halting the young child. He glanced imploringly at the other two adults, who were both engaging in a death-glare contest. Over _him_. But he didn't need to know that.

"Fine," snapped Calhoun eventually, ushering Vanellope towards the fountain with a sigh. But before they left, she pointedly glowered at Ralph and grabbed the front of Felix's shirt, kissing him deeply and forcefully. "See ya, _babe_."

"Bye-bye," mumbled the light brunette dazedly in reply, his lips shining with lipstick. His counterpart snarled at the retreating sergeant, eyes furious and enraged. He calmed down almost instantly, however, when he felt a pair of delicate hands caress his right fingers. Now that they were alone—from their two demanding girls at least—any and all forms of affection were then viable and ready for play.

Felix, who was particularly craving for his lover's lips, shyly reached his arms upwards in a silent request. Ralph laughed softly and scooped him into his arms, granting the permission they both desperately longed for. "Hiya, baby."

"Hi yourself, sweetheart," murmured the handyman adorably, barely noticing his boyfriend carrying him further up the line. Thank goodness they were going so slow...he _never_ wanted this moment to end.

"Ugh. I can't believe she put this junk on you..."

"I know...oh, hey! I have a napkin in my pocket..."

"Give me it. Let's get this off of you."

"Could you kiss it better when you're done?"

Ralph licked his suddenly-dry lips. "Is it hurt?"

"Yeah...someone _not_ you kissed it and now it's hurt _real bad_..." Felix smiled as he watched the larger man slowly dab at his mouth and remove the smear of sticky make-up. He smiled even _more_ when he felt the wrecker not only kiss his lips, but also lick them squeaky-clean. "Ohhh..."

"Better?"

"More, maybe? Before we run out of time?"

"Whatever you say, baby..."

Unfortunately, they were so into rather brazen make-out session that they hadn't even noticed they were at the front of the line.

Not until they heard a startled gasp, that was.

"Wow! What a nice surprise! How are my honeymooners?"

Apparently, Melissa the Manager could pretty much do whatever job she wanted.

Whenever she wanted.

"O-oh, my..." stuttered Felix, his face reddening deeper and deeper by the second. He clung nervously to his unperturbed counterpart, resisting the urge to bury his face in Ralph's shirt. "I-I'm so sorry, ma'am, we hadn't realized that—"

"No, no! It's no trouble at all! I'm just so glad you two are having a _fantastic_ honeymoon!" Melissa clasped her hands in glee, sharing a knowing look with Ralph. Who, surprisingly, seemed pretty smug about the whole ordeal. "The carnival's pretty sweet, too. We have the Tunnel of Love and a couples-only roller-coaster where you guys get to kiss at the top of the hill! It's actually quite romantic!"

"Oh. That's swell and dandy, ma'am, but we're here with our friends. As much as I'd love to spend time with my...uhm..."

"Husband?"

"Yea—_no_! No, not yet. We...he and I...just..."

_Yet?_ Ralph mentally cheered, unable to stop himself from smiling goofily as he watched the fix-it guy stammer an explanation to the bemused manager-now-carnival-worker. _He might want to marry me?_

They'd only started dating yesterday and he was already thinking about marriage! Love really knew no bounds...

"—and that's—that's why—"

"Don't worry, sir! Most people like to keep low profile on their honeymoon. I understand _perfectly_." Melissa winked at the flustered Felix, ripping four bubblegum pink tickets from the whirring neon-blue machine beside her. She slid them over to Ralph through the slit in the booth window, and as well as four hand-sized drawstring bags, all of which rattled with coins.

"What're these?"

"Tokens," kindly informed Melissa, smiling at her two favorite guests, "You need them to play games, or maybe make a wish on the fountain. It's free, don't worry. If you run out, we have refill stands everywhere."

"Thanks very much," Felix smiled and accepted the bags and tickets, still quite comfortable in Ralph's arms. He tried not to blush when the wrecker's endearing gaze suddenly moved to his face, which darkened immediately in response

"You're very welcome, sirs! I hope your honeymoon's coming along nicely!"

"It is, thanks," Ralph assured, smirking teasingly at the wide-eyed, cherry-red Felix on his person. He waved at Melissa as they left, rolling his eyes fondly at the giggles that escaped her lips. When they were out of eyeshot, he slipped behind one of the lit-up trees aligning the path to the carnival gates with a determination that would put even Calhoun to shame. Once safely hidden in the shadows, he turned downwards to face his anxious lover, whose cheeks were still warm with honeyglows. "Hey again, Lixie."

"Hey yourself..." croaked Felix, just as his lips were crushed with Ralph's demanding ones. Mewling, he grasped the larger man's collar and tugged him even closer. He welcomed the hot muscle that slipped between his teeth and into his mouth, moaning with unabashed gusto. Ralph explored his small boyfriend's moist cavern with _much_ more experience than normal best friends should have of each other's mouths.

But then he remembered that they were no longer just best friends. They were so much more.

So. Much. _More_.

He gasped when, out of the blue, Felix began sucking desperately, _naughtily_, on his tongue. Knees quivering, Ralph pressed his back firmly against the tree trunk, a hand reaching backward to keep a steady hold. This movement only seemed to encourage the affirmed protagonist into taking a bold step upwards; his hands somehow found their way onto the expanse of Ralph's chest, resting a bit too fondly on his pectorals. He nibbled softly on the piece of delicious flesh between his lips, eliciting a rather enticing groan from his trembling counterpart.

Eventually, the sounds of excited children-programs brought them back to the surface, their loud laughter a reminder of the very reason they even came to the carnival in the first place.

"Vanellope..." began Felix after they had parted, looking more than a little disappointed. He glanced up and quickly nuzzled their noses together in a fond Eskimo kiss, unknowingly causing Ralph to melt all over, inside and out. "We should find them..."

"Yeah..."

"You think they noticed we vanished?"

"Nah...that fountain looked way too _fun_ for them to care..."

"Okay. Uhm...well, I—uh—I liked doing this...with—with you...and er...you've been so_ a_-_amazing_..."

"O-oh?"

"Yes...and...well, I-I love you!" Flushing, Felix buried his face in his hands, embarrassed at himself, and attempted to rid all the warmth away from his cheeks. While he did so, Ralph openly gaped at him with a very distant expression, as though disbelieving.

It suddenly hit him just how deeply _in love_ he was with Felix. And how obviously mutual that feeling was.

Potentially, their relationship was dangerous. Potentially, they could get a lot of heat from it. Specifically, from the Nicelanders and Calhoun.

_Calhoun_.

God, they hadn't even _told_ her. Felix had said something about putting off until the end of vacation, so her first winter break wouldn't be ruined. Though it pained him to rendezvous with Ralph behind her back, he still ran the risk to keep their love aflame.

So many things could go wrong...

But honestly...

Ralph doubted anything would deter him and his lover. He doubted their relationship would fail. In fact, he was a thousand percent sure it _wouldn't_.

True love was the most amazing thing, after all.

"I...I love you, too..."

_Felix..._

_You're my life now._

* * *

Was...was the world supposed to be spinning?

Why was he seeing double?

And stumbling. Couldn't forget the stumbling.

"R-Ralph, I think we need to sit you down..." Felix whimpered as he attempted to coax his dizzy boyfriend into the park bench. Beside them, Calhoun was tearing up with laughter and Vanellope grinned in amusement.

"Wow, stinkbrain! You couldn't even handle the spinning teacups!" she giggled, bounding over to them cheerfully. Felix sighed at their 'women' and patted Ralph's knee gently.

"It's okay. I didn't like it, either," he assured the nauseous man in the calmest voice he could muster. On the bench, Ralph mumbled incoherently, covering his eyes with a hand.

"'M f'n."

"You are _not_ fine," admonished Felix in a mother-hen tone, waggling his finger knowingly. "Now, you sit there until you stop seeing double and your face goes back to normal. It looks a bit green right now."

"No..."

"_Yes_." The handyman turned back to the rest of their party and offered them a weary smile. "I'll stay with him. You guys go have fun."

"Why are you always offerin' to babysit _this_ numbskull?" Calhoun demanded, crossing her arms coolly. Vanellope paused in her giggling to stare at them in surprise. "I can do it."

"That's awfully nice of you to offer, ma'am, but...uhm...what if Ralph needs to use the bathroom? The poor thing can't go over there himself!" Though he looked sincere on the outside, Felix mentally patted himself on the back for his quick-thinking, especially since Calhoun could obviously find no fault in his reasoning. "And it wouldn't be right for you to go inside the _men's_ restroom..."

"Well...well, why don't we all just wait?"

_Easy._ "Because Vanellope deserves to make the most out of this trip! How could you force a child to only _look_ at all the fun rides and not go on any of them?"

_Two for two, Jeany!_

"I—"

"Just go!" groaned Ralph tiredly, waving a hand blindly to dismiss them. "Have fun! We'll catch up later."

"Aww, you sure, stinky?"

"Yes. Now, _shoo_!"

With a final (annoyed) backwards glance, Calhoun hurried after the running Vanellope, who they could hear yelling something about roller-coasters and _'vurps'_.

"You okay, honey? Feel any better?" Felix asked breathlessly the moment the other two were out of earshot. He scrambled onto the bench and worriedly stroked Ralph's hair, eyes wide with concern.

The wrecker winked. "_Now_ I do. C'mere." And with that, the smaller man found himself crushed against his boyfriend's warm chest, a pair of careful hands holding him close. Chuckling, he playfully attempted to escape, which only caused the grip on him to tighten _deliciously_.

"Hahahaha! Ralphy! I thought you were feeling _bad_."

"I was...but then, y'know, you _are_ the best medicine in the world," Ralph declared seriously, nodding with sincerity. He finally decided to let his baby breathe and easily placed him on his right shoulder, smiling. "Let's go do something."

"Like what?" Felix inquired, resting the side of his face against the top of Ralph's head, burying his nose in his flawless brown locks. He snaked an arm around the back of his lover's neck to steady himself as they moved.

That, and...well, he wanted to touch Ralph. Heh.

"Anything you want..."

"I want _you_."

"I'll give you that later," promised Ralph with a sly wink, his face heating up considerably. Not as much as Felix's, but close enough. "No, really. Anything?"

"How about there?" innocently suggested the handyman, pointing to a rather populated attraction. Ralph craned his neck upwards to see what exactly his lover was referring to, which turned out to be some sort...of...

"Tunnel of Love?"

* * *

He could create candy racecars and run away from cops in the form of doughnuts. He could attempt to fight Cy-Bugs in some random, entomophobic man's soldier suit (keyword: _attempt_) and climb up tall towers to snag a medal. He could fight the _creepiest_ racer in existence and almost-fall several hundred feet into a boiling lake of Diet Coke.

He was nine-feet tall, over six-hundred pounds in weight...

And yet...this was extremely _terrifying_.

"Don't worry, Ralph! Nobody will see us..."

_You don't know that_, Ralph inwardly groaned as they neared their turn. This just _had_ to be the one ride with the fastest-moving line. Just his _luck_.

"Well, you said none of your friends are dating, or anything," Felix reminded him, kissing the back of his hand. "So they shouldn't have any reason to be in this part of the carnival! Assuming they're even here, of course."

"You know they are...just about _everybody's_ stayin' at the hotel..." gruffly muttered Ralph, trying to ignore the way his hand tingled from his friend's caring touch. He stole a quick glance downwards to see Felix's face, only to pause when he noticed the hurt way he scrunched up his eyebrows. "Lixie?"

"If you want...we could go somewhere else," he feebly murmured, forcing a smile on his face as he stared up at his lover. Ralph instantly had the urge to slap himself for his thoughtless insensitivity and general idiocy.

_Good job, Ralph. The guy's already giving up so much for you, and you can't even thank him for it. Way to be Boyfriend of the Year._

"Felix...I didn't..."

"No, it's fine. I get it. This is a little embarrassing." Felix grabbed his finger and made to leave the line, though he really didn't get too far before Ralph tugged him backwards. "Ralph," he tried again, but his minuscule, adorable self couldn't quite hold a candle to his enormously huge, almost-a-thousand-pound boyfriend.

"No way. We waited this long, haven't we? And the line's even longer than before. Plus, I wanna spend time with the most _amazing_ guy I know." Ralph winked and wrapped a hand around Felix's back, pulling him close to his body (or in this case, his leg, since that was all Felix could reach). A group of girls who were passing by saw this 'coupley' act and "_aww_!"ed almost instantly. It seemed that the group behind them in line had, as well. Red from the attention they were getting, Ralph steeled his gaze forward and swallowed his pride.

He was a man, yes. But men put up with extremely humiliating and silly things for the person they loved, right? And if Felix was happy, then _forget_ everything else.

Anything was worth that _beautiful_ smile. _Anything_.

"You...you sure...?"

"'Course I am!"

"Really?"

"Yes, really. _Geez_, Lixie, trust me, will ya? It's no problem—"

"Hey! Small world, huh, sirs?"

"I love that ride!"

"Oh, go back to work..."

_You have _got_ to be kidding me._

"Ms. Melissa! Hello!" cheerfully greeted Felix, waving a bit unnecessarily at her. Ralph ran a hand down his face, defeated and a little exhausted.

"I knew I'd see you guys here! All couples _love_ this ride!" she squealed, ushering two guests onto an empty boat. "Almost your turn! Come here on one and two!"

"Right..." sighed Ralph as he followed Felix onto the red numbers on the floor. He could see a crystal-clear stream on the other side of the small, heart-shaped gates—made to block them from entering without supervision—which then led to a waterfall of fog. No doubt the tunnel was right behind it. Ralph half-hoped that he wouldn't fit in the boat...but from the looks of it, even _that_ seemed like wishful thinking.

"What happens?" Felix wondered excitedly, hopping up and down to peek at the stream since he was unable to see over gates. Ralph grinned at him, finding the action to be endearing and cute. But then again, he found _all_ of Felix cute. So no surprise there.

In response, Melissa only gave them the thumbs-up. "Not much. Basically, couples just make out to the sounds of velvety music and total darkness."

Ralph perked up almost immediately. Now, _nothing_ would stop him from getting _on_ the ride. He actually wanted to slap himself for ever thinking ill of such an _amazing_ attraction.

"Oh, here you go!" And with that, the tall brunette pressed a green button on her podium, opening the gates. She led them over to the large, crystalized red boat and helped them settle in, a soft smile on her lips. Since the ride was practically made for _kissing_ patrons, the seats were across from each other, where lip-on-lip contact wouldn't be as difficult to perform. "Be safe and have _fun_!" she called as she retreated back to her post and dispatched their boat.

"Ooh," breathed Felix excitedly as they slowly and gently rocked back and forth, moving harmonically with the small waves in the water. Ralph kept his gaze locked on his boyfriend's enchanting face, fully ignoring the onlookers still in line. Luckily, they made it to the tunnel without incident, and he even had the pleasure of watching Felix squeak happily at the fog that enveloped them when they entered. "Hahahaha! This feels funny, Ralphy!"

"What? I haven't even gotten started on you..."

"Huh? What does that mean?"

"Nothing..."

The darkness closed around them. They could only hear the sounds of the water licking the bottom of their boat, and splashing against the sides of the trail.

For a second, everything was silent.

And then...

_"We ask that you keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times, preferably on your partner."_

"Ahahaha..."

_"However, you may get out of your seat...if you know what I mean. Just we ask not to fall out of the boat."_

"I think he's talking to you, Felix."

"Oh, hush up."

_"We assure you that your privacy is respected and that there are no surveillance cameras anywhere in the attraction. However, we do request that clothes must be on at all times."_

"Well, this is fun..."

"I think that one's for you, Ralphy."

_"Intercourse is prohibited, but we can't do much about touching."_

"Who wrote this?"

_"I repeat, absolutely **no** forms of intercourse. I would list all of it, but we aren't allowed to do so."_

"List?"

"I'll show you later, Felix..."

"Ralph!"

_"Be mindful of other guests on the ride. Please keep the noise level only loud enough for your party to enjoy—"_

"How loud do you wanna be, baby?"

"_Jiminy jaminy_, Ralph!"

_"—but remember to watch your language. Try to keep as appropriate as possible, and please enjoy the ride. Or, you know, whoever's sitting across from you."_

"Oh, _I_ _will_..."

"Ralphy..."

The voice shut off. In its place, sultry music began to play, setting the mood almost instantly.

Ralph gulped, uncomfortable with the temporary blindness. "Uhm...Felix?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you...erm...do you wanna...?"

"Wanna...?"

"You know...uhm...uh..."

"Uh-huh?"

"Maybe we should...we..._should_...uh, should..."

However, instead of another teasing reply, he only received a bruising kiss. Felix, small and agile as he was, somehow managed to sneak onto his lap while he'd been awkwardly talking, effectively answering his inquiry. For a split second, Ralph had been worried that they wouldn't get to kissing until much later into the ride, after perhaps having a random conversation with his boyfriend first. Luckily, Felix had other things in mind.

Much more pleasurable ones, for that matter.

"_Ohhh_," Ralph moaned, prodding his beloved's lips with his tongue. He was granted entrance quickly and wasted no time in tasting the inside of Felix's mouth once more.

"I love you," mumbled the shorter man around his tongue, his voice a bit muffled and hoarse.

Ralph suddenly pulled back, and though Felix couldn't see it, he _knew_ that his lover was staring at him with ferocity, passion, and determination at all once. "I love you _more_," he finally growled, claiming his lips for the...what, billionth time?

But that kiss sparked something inside both of them. With that simple action, they came undone. Whatever emotion and desire they'd been repressing all this time suddenly reached a boiling point and _exploded_.

_Fireworks._

They came at each other like wild _animals_, gasping and panting and moaning and groaning. Ralph bit Felix and he bit right back. Their lips were so deeply locked that they almost seemed like one entity. Hands were all over each other, leaving burning touches and teasing caresses. Sweet-nothings were exchanged—and as well as spit—drowned out in each other's mouths. It only _escalated_ from there.

And they were just _kissing_.

Imagine how they'd react to...the _real_ fun...

They spent at least a few solid minutes angrily making out. Their rather wild kissing probably startled the other programs in the ride. Especially since Ralph made sure they were good and loud.

Unfortunately, all good things must end. They couldn't do much about that, except maybe whine in disappointment.

_"Hello, again, love birds! We hope that you've enjoyed the Tunnel of Love and the hot seven minutes you just spent with your partner! But before you go, we'd like to take you through the Cave of Mirrors, where hopefully you'll spend the next two minutes pulling yourself together and figuring out how you're going to hide that giant hickey on your neck! Ow! Melissa, that hurt!"_

"That makes sense," whispered Ralph huskily, licking his lips, fingers dangerously close to Felix bottom, "but why don't we spend only _one_ of those two minutes fixing ourselves up?"

"What will we do for the other minute?"

"Oh...I think you know."

And Felix most certainly _did_.

* * *

**A/N: Long chappie! I owe you guys at least that much for taking such a long time to update! **

***sobbing* It's—it's just that I love Ralph and Felix so much! I needed to have them make out like a bajillion times! XD**

**Sorry for the wait! It seems that every time I say something along the lines of 'oh, I'll try to update sooner or something', the complete opposite happens! So I'm just not gonna make anymore promises o.e**

**Carnival! Coupley rides! Games WITHIN a game! WHAT IS THIS I DON'T**

**Ahem. Yes. **

**By the way, if I'm making any grammatical/spelling errors, I apologize! It gets harder to check the more I write Dx**

**Disclaimer: Don't own WIR. But I do own that perv who was making the announcements in the Tunnel of Love~!**


	4. Day 3: The Day After and Pools?

_Warning: yaoi, slash, guy x guy lovin', RALPH x FELIX. _

* * *

The first thing Ralph realized when he woke up:

The room was freezing.

The second thing he noticed: he had no clothes on.

And the third?

A softly-snoring, equally-as-naked handyman curled up on his chest, with the cutest bed-head he'd ever seen.

Did he mention they were _naked_?

Well, they were.

This was _so_ going to be the best day of his life.

"Oh, God..." he breathed, disbelieving. Dreaming. He must be dreaming. Tentatively, wondering if this was all real, he placed a hand over Felix's tiny body.

Oh. Yeah.

Definitely not dreaming.

_This is happening_...he thought to himself, loving the warm skin under his fingers, the warm body across his torso. It took him a second to realize that the red duvet was on the floor and the blankets bunched at the foot of the bed. But luckily, he had giant arms and even more giant hands to solve the problem with.

"There we go..." Ralph muttered as he covered both himself and his lover with the welcoming sheets. Smiling, fully awake and energized, he adoringly watched Felix snooze quietly and preciously. In all his life, he never once thought that he'd one morning wake up with Fix-It Felix, Jr., his so-called enemy. If someone had told him before his hero's journey that he would soon be the handyman's lover and spend beautiful evenings with him in lustful hotel rooms, he probably would've flung them across Game Central Station. Because, obviously, he and Felix didn't really get along back then.

But _ohhh, boy_. Did they get along now.

A tiny sigh snapped him out of his thoughts. He happily directed his attention to the stirring light brunette who had complete possession of his heart. "Mmm..."

"'Mornin', beautiful," Ralph grinned, drinking in the wonderful sight that was Felix. The smaller man smiled, his eyes still firmly shut.

"You've been dying to say that, haven't you?"

"You know me..."

"More than anybody else," mumbled Felix, snuggling closer to his personal mattress. He wondered if Ralph could hear his lovestruck heart, erratically hammering around in his ribcage.

"Open your eyes, baby. I wanna see 'em," the wrecker begged sweetly, rubbing circles on his boyfriend's back. "Lixie? Please?"

"But this is such a good dream," Felix whispered, covering his face with his hands. "I don't wanna wake up."

"You're not dreaming, baby, I promise."

"How do you know?"

"Well...would you feel _this_ in a dream?"

"Feel wh—?"

Ralph cut him off by pulling him to face-level and pressing their lips together. In response, he squeaked and squeezed his eyelids shut even tighter than before.

The kiss was chaste. Gentle. Perfect.

No tongue. No teeth.

Just sweet and honest and _good_.

"Please..." Ralph repeated lovingly when they parted, kissing his nose. "Let me see those gorgeous eyes."

"They're not..." Felix whined sheepishly, but he finally relented and blinked at his grinning companion.

"Aww, there they are..." the wrecker murmured, very much taken with his handsome lover. Though the handyman rolled his eyes, he seemed undoubtedly ecstatic about their current position.

He stroked his boyfriend's face, before sliding his hands up to the ruffled brown locks he'd been admiring since he opened his eyes. Ralph had many qualities that he loved so, _so_ much, inside and out. Felix loved his caring and warm heart, his sweet deposition, his adorable clumsiness (at least, in his eyes). He loved his kissable face, his careful hands, his protective and possessive large arms. Everything about him drove Felix _crazy_. Joyfully insane.

"Ralphy, I love you..."

"I know. You wouldn't stop telling me last night..."

"R-Ralph!"

"What?" Ralph demanded innocently, raising his eyebrows. "It's true."

"I know...but still..."

"Aww, are you shy? Seriously? After all we did?"

"'M not shy!" scoffed Felix, pouting in such a precious manner that Ralph had to seriously stop himself from pouncing on him. "Not me!"

"Oh, I know that," laughed the larger of the two, throwing an arm behind his head coyly. "Shy people don't do _half_ the things you did to me last night~"

If Felix had been blushing before, it was nothing compared to how explosively red his volcano-face was now. Steam practically came out of his ears. "_Ralph_!"

"Not that I didn't enjoy it," Ralph continued loudly, fully ignoring his counterpart's desperate glaring, "because I so definitely _did_."

"Jiminy jaminy, Ralph, stop! I get it! You—you liked what we did yesterday..."

"Liked? No. _Loved_. Which reminds me...what did you think?"

"H-huh? M-me?"

"Yeah." Suddenly, the smug smirk on Ralph's face vanished, a nervous frown taking its place. He brushed a few stray hairs out of his boyfriend's face with his pinkie, eyes silent but demanding. Felix, for his part, openly gaped at him with a mixture of shock and exasperation. "Yo, Lixie. Answer me, baby. And be honest, okay?"

"I—you can't be seriously asking me this, Ralph..."

"Ouch. That bad?"

"Are you KIDDING me?!" the handyman all but yelled, firmly grasping his lover's shoulders—well, almost, anyway—furious and half-hysterical. He didn't even know why. Maybe his emotions were finally catching up with the whole situation... "Really, Ralph? I thought I made it clear last night how exactly I felt about that."

"Uhm—when you say that—"

"Yes, I mean your _very talented love making skills_!" Felix blurted before he could stop himself, slapping a hand over his mouth when his mind processed his words. Shrinking away, he glanced off to the side, cheeks blazing in the brightest honeyglows yet. Ralph took this all in with possibly the lightest heart in the world, with the most elated expression on his face.

"Talented, you say?"

"Oh, hush you. Let's just go back to cuddling." And at that moment, an entirely new complication reared its ugly head.

Felix sat up...and cried out in pain almost instantly.

* * *

"Mm-hmm-mm-mm-mmm~"

Clink. _Clink_.

"Mmm-hm-mmmm-hmmm-mmmmm..."

_Clink._

"...la, la, la—ooh. This ride looks fun..."

"Damn. We're already out of root beers..."

"I like cola better," Vanellope casually declared, immersed in the colorful pamphlet in her tiny hands. She glanced up quickly to eye a scowling Calhoun pat around their relatively huge mini-refrigerator for another drink, no doubt the dark beverage she'd been consuming for the past half hour. "You probably drank it all."

"Huh." The tall blonde shrugged and straightened her back. She trudged over to her bed and flopped down, throwing an arm over her eyes. The black-haired child watched her bemusedly from her own bunk, several of the carnival's bright maps scattered all over the mattress.

"You're takin' a nap already?"

"Oh, hush. Like I could shut my eyes with you yappin' all night long..."

"Sorry," snickered Vanellope, twirling a red crayon, "I forgot how _old_ people need their sleep."

Calhoun gritted her teeth and turned away from the smirking president, not even in the mood to tell her off.

"I'm hungry..."

"Hmph..."

"C'mon! Let's go get food!"

"The boys ain't up yet."

"You don't know that. Let's go wake 'em!"

But Ralph and Felix really didn't need waking up; what they really needed was some_ calming down_.

In the next room, the two 8-bit programs were busy with problems that, unlike Vanellope's, breakfast probably wouldn't completely solve.

"Ralphy...honey, it's okay! It's okay—"

"No, it's not! I hurt you!"

"You didn't mean to! You didn't even _know_—"

"But you still got hurt! And—and I didn't—I even felt _good_—"

"Then it was worth it," firmly declared Felix, kissing his lover's finger, which he had firmly in his grip—the closest they could get to holding hands. He remained lying on his back on the bed, however, since sitting up still proved to be too painful. In the meantime, Ralph sat miserably on a chair—he felt sick to his stomach knowing he'd harmed his baby on that wretched bed—still mentally beating himself up for the pain he'd cause his tiny boyfriend. "Ralph—"

"I'm sorry, Felix. I really am... Maybe—maybe we shouldn't—"

"NO!" Startled out of his wits, Felix actually pulled himself upright, his spine and bottom aching beyond belief. Regardless, he kept on his bravest face and crawled out of bed and onto Ralph's lap. "See? I'm fine!"

"Don't do that!" hissed the wrecker worriedly, laying him down on his thighs. Luckily, the handyman was so tiny that he could comfortably do so. "Baby, don't strain yourself."

"Then stop feeling so guilty..." murmured the light brunette, staring up at him with soft, loving blue eyes. It was enough to shut Ralph up, taking his breath away in the process. For a moment, they just looked at each other, and eventually, the giant sighed, knowing he wouldn't win this argument. Especially if Felix kept smiling at him like he'd been doing for the past ten minutes.

"Lixie..."

"Do you really think I didn't know this would happen?"

"Huh?"

"Ralph, even before we made love, I already knew it would hurt. It's only logical, right? It's not like we had no idea how everything...uhm, _worked_..."

"Felix..."

"What I'm trying to say is that I love you and I loved what we did last night. I don't regret it, nor do I blame you for making me feel so _amazing_." Felix patted his boyfriend's stomach sweetly, winking at his transfixed face. "Besides, I'm sure that I'll be fine after a little more practice..."

At that, Ralph flushed in embarrassment, coughing lightly into a giant fist. "I-I'm guessing this won't be last time, huh?"

"You kiddin' me? We've barely even _begun_."

So in the end, they spent several minutes consolingly making out on the bed—_"Mmph, it's fine..." "_You're_ fine, ngh..."_—which thankfully Ralph didn't mind occupying anymore. They only stopped when Vanellope and Calhoun came a-knocking a few moments later, the former of who began yelling at them to get up.

Ralph decided to answer this time, pecking Felix once on the lips as got on his feet, murmuring, "Stay here, baby...go rest."

"Ralphy! Put on more clothes!"

"Oh, yeah..."

"Boy, they're slow," muttered Vanellope on the other end of the door, arms crossed. The sergeant beside her only sighed tiredly, one hand rubbing her left temple. "What are they doin' in there?"

"Sleeping."

The little girl shook her head, a smirk forming on her lips. "Probably cuddling on the bed."

Calhoun's head shot up instantly, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. This was the second time the child's not-so-innocent words struck a chord with her that they shouldn't have. "What?"

"What?"

"Why do you keep sayin' things like that?"

"Like what?"

"You know what," snapped Calhoun, eyes narrowing dangerously. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that Felix hadn't really been paying her much attention as of late. He wasn't trailing after her like a lost puppy anymore; he'd been doing that to Ralph lately. Heck, he'd been spending a lot of time with that giant of a man, time that they should've spent together.

She barely opened her mouth to further interrogate the now-loudly whistling Vanellope before the door meekly opened and Ralph poked his head out, yawning loudly. "'Mornin', ladies."

"Hey, stinkbrain!" Grateful for the distraction, the girl top-shelved the wrecker and made a running motion down the hall. "C'mon! Breakfast time!"

"Oh, yeah—"

"Where's Felix?" sharply cut in Calhoun, crossing her arms as she glared demandingly at Ralph. Who, for his part, scowled and imitated the gesture, but tenfold.

"Sleeping."

"Huh. Well, then I don't suppose you care if I check up on him, do you?" She moved forward and made to brush past the man, but he refused to budge.

"Don't!"

"Why not?"

"He's...he's sleeping," weakly argued the affirmed antagonist, shrugging in emphasis. He did not appreciate the wilting glower he received from the hot-and-icy sergeant, who obviously was just as an unamused with him as he was with her.

"So?"

_Sorry, Lixie._ "He'd kill me if I let you in and...uh, hear him snoring."

"I can't come in because he's snoring," deadpanned Calhoun with a raised eyebrow. She probably wouldn't have normally cared as much to see Felix, but Vanellope's latest comment continued to nag at her in the back of her mind. At this point, she was really just trying to prove the little girl wrong, that Felix and Ralph were simply coworkers—friends—and _nothing more._

Vanellope seemed to realize that she was the cause of this spontaneous hostility, for she bravely grabbed the woman's hand and smiled cutely up at her when she sharply glanced down. "Let's get ready, okay?"

And because Calhoun was still female and had natural maternal instincts, her eyes softened a little bit and she simply nodded at the sugar-sweet voice. "Fine."

Ralph, shocked that he'd been let off that easily, couldn't believe his eyes as the two walked off without a backwards glance. A little confused at the odd and fast-paced mini-conversation, he retreated back into the room and shut the door with a tired sigh.

And was immediately greeted with an affronted Felix.

"Ralphy, I don't snore!"

* * *

"Hey. Hammerguy, why are you sittin' funny?"

Wasn't that the age-old question?

Felix flushed uncomfortably and all but dropped his fork, pausing mid-chew. He barely even registered Ralph choking into his coffee next to him.

Why was Felix sitting so weirdly?

Perhaps it had something to do with the nocturnal activities that he and Ralph had been a part of last night.

Perhaps it had something to do with how freakishly _huge_ Ralph was in places _besides_ his hands and feet, and how ridiculously _tight_ Felix was in a certain place that his lover seemed to enjoy quite a bit.

And perhaps it also had something to do with how...enthusiastic...Ralph had been with him for several love-filled, beautiful hours.

Perhaps.

_"Ralphy, what are we gonna do?"_

_"I-I don't know! I think we're going back to the carnival today—"_

_"What? B-but I can't move like this!"_

_"I know! I'm sorry—I wish I could fix it—"_

_"Wait! That's it!"_

_Felix, with renewed vigor, rolled towards the right bedside table and grabbed the shining golden hammer perched atop it._

_"I can fix it!"_

But unfortunately, the magic hammer could only do so much.

Sure his back and bottom weren't in extricating pain anymore, but that didn't mean he was immune to the complete soreness all over.

Because he so wasn't.

"Am I sitting funny?" laughed Felix awkwardly, subconsciously scooting closer to his pink-faced lover. Ralph looked as though he was vividly replaying all of last night's activities in his mind; he even had the pleased smirk to prove it. The handyman pouted and elbowed him smartly. "Something you need to say, Ralph ol' boy?"

"Me? Nope," replied his boyfriend with false-innocence, 'accidentally' brushing Felix's hand as he reached for the stack of toast on the center of the table. Vanellope caught his eye and they both shared a winning grin. "Carnival again, boogerhead?"

"You know it!"

"Sounds fun—"

"Fix-it," an oddly sweet voice called from his left, and he was surprised to see Tamora Jean Calhoun smiling—yes, _smiling_—gently at him. If he'd been taken aback by Vanellope's question a few moments ago, it was nothing compared to how startled he was now at his not-really-girlfriend's very feminine mannerisms. "Why don't we spend the day together?"

"Uhm—I—why, golly, I—I—s-suppose-—"

"What about the carnival, though?" demanded Ralph quickly, shooting Calhoun an irritated glare. "We agreed on that."

"Well, true—"

"We can be together there, then," retorted the tall lady, her previous sugary demeanor gone in the blink of an eye. But she did suddenly wrap and arm around the confused Felix's shoulder and pulled him closer. "Huh, babe?"

She began kissing the side of Felix's face and at this, Ralph almost did lose it. He almost grabbed his—again, _his_—lover, almost had his way with him, there, in front of everybody. He wanted to show the world who Felix really belonged to, who he truly and sincerely loved beyond reason.

Almost.

Despite his size, he didn't quite have enough backbone to perform such a brazen act.

So he kept to himself, scowled, and stabbed his toast.

Little scheming Vanellope, the ingenious child that she was, then proceeded to whine about having to go use the bathroom. Calhoun obviously realized that she was remotely responsible for accompanying the girl, so, grumbling, she got to her feet and warily accepted Vanellope's hand.

As they vanished around the corner, mingling with other guests—the breakfast hall was really crowded today; so many programs in the buffet room—Felix quickly jumped onto Ralph's lap and did his best to hug him as his tiny body would permit. "Ralphy, you know I love you, right?"

"Yes," obediently sighed Ralph, patting the handyman soothingly on the back. It really was impossible for him to be even a little upset with Felix, especially since he knew how pure and innocent the little man was, how he would never purposely hurt anybody. "I know."

"And you know that you're my favorite and that I love you more than anything else?"

"Well, yeah, but I really don't mind you lettin' me know...heh..."

"Ralphy..."

"I...I dunno, I wish she just left us alone..."

Felix nodded simply and sighed, softly pecking his counterpart's lips. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't," breathed Ralph, rubbing their noses together, sharing even the warmth on their faces. "'S long as you're mine and not hers..."

"I'm _yours_, for sure," cooed Felix soothingly, gently running a finger across his boyfriend's smooth, kissable lips. Ralph playfully caught the digit and brought it inside his mouth, making the smaller man giggle bashfully. "Watch it, tiger..."

"Mmm..."

"Ow, don't bite too hard..."

"Hmm..."

"Hey. You're sucking too much...are you trying to swallow it, or what?"

"That's what _you_ said."

"What?"

"Nothing."

* * *

Their destination was to the right.

Vanellope's attention was to the left.

They were on their way to the carnival when they spotted two hotel employees unveiling a giant colorful sign that read "TRATSER WATER PARK" in bold blue letters over at the plaza where the train station was at; it almost seemed as if the waves on the sign were actually moving, actually crashing against the text.

But other than that...there didn't seem to be any trace of the new water park anywhere.

"Where is it?" demanded Vanellope, stopping them in their tracks. She pointed almost accusingly at the sign and pouted at Ralph. "Do you see it?"

"Nope," the wrecker muttered, squinting. He really couldn't see anything but said sign. Did the employees accidentally make a false-revelation? Someone wasn't getting a raise anytime soon. "Not there."

"We could ask," Felix pointed out, already headed for the two workers. Vanellope nodded in agreement and scurried after him. Calhoun, meanwhile, only harrumphed and stood her ground, crossing her arms. Ralph would've stayed where he was, too—him being lazy and all—but he realized that the male employees Felix and Vanellope were approaching seemed to display way too much interest in the handyman than was necessary. Already one of them was in his personal bubble…

Resisting the urge to stampede over to them with his large arms raised in a terrifying manner, Ralph only scowled and quickly stomped towards his boyfriend and the walking _migraines_ talking to him. When he got to them, he protectively dumped Felix onto his shoulder, looking more than very annoyed.

"Hiya, Ralphy! These fellas were just givin' us directions to the underground water park!" the light brunette told him, ruffling his hair playfully.

The 'fellas', as Felix so nicely introduced, were both attractive, tall blondes. The shorter of the two raised an eyebrow at Ralph, while the other just blatantly ignored him. "If you want, I can give you a special tour," he purred, eyes only for Felix. Who, for his part, only blinked in confusion.

Ralph was actually prepared to smash this guy into oblivion—he was already raising his arms—but Vanellope surprisingly beat him to the punch.

"But I want to spend time with my daddies!" she 'innocently' proclaimed, motioning towards Ralph and Felix. "We're here on a family vacation!"

"D-daddies?"

"Yeah! These are my parents!"

"Parents...?" The blonde gaped at the two 8-bit programs in shock. He suddenly realized just how tall and destructive-looking Ralph was, how murderous he looked when their eyes met. "Y-you guys're married?"

"We sure are," snapped Ralph coldly, narrowing his eyes at the now-trembling hotel employee. His friend was already wisely backing away, his hands up in a defeated manner.

"Also, my sister over there has a gun!" Vanellope added cheerfully, pointing at Calhoun with a beam. The sergeant was conveniently examining a handgun at the moment they all turned to look at her, which only made the blondes panic even more.

"S-sorry about t-that, sirs...I'm—"

"Just about to leave, right?"

"Right!" With that, the two men shakily bolted away, completely traumatized. Ralph rolled his eyes while Felix only blinked, still very much bewildered.

"Honey, what just happened?"

"I don't really—"

"I knew you were together!" suddenly squealed Vanellope, hopping up and down excitedly. She seemed very pleased with herself, as though she'd just accomplished the most daunting task in the world. But then again, figuring out a few adult friends had the hots for each other before a know-it-all military babe would be a pretty amazing feat for any kid. "I called it!"

"Then we must be so obvious," nervously whispered Felix to his bemused boyfriend, eyes wide in shock. Ralph only grinned at him and winked.

"That's cos we're too _in love_."

"Ah, well, can't disagree with that."

* * *

The theme seemed to scream enchanted wonderland.

Well, _icy_ enchanted wonderland.

It was odd; the park looked as though it was covered in snow and icicles, yet was warm and toasty as any other beach. The pools themselves were made of ice—clear, flawless—and the water was practically invisible.

It felt as though they were in one giant cavern, one giant _frozen cave_. Icicles also hung from the ceiling, which was so high up that it might as well be the sky. The park was huge enough that they couldn't even see the cave walls; the place just seemed to go on forever.

On the ground was what appeared to be snow, but actually felt like soft, inviting sand. The fun part was that one could actually make snowballs out of it regardless.

Every surface seemed to be colored in chrome, shiny and smooth to the touch. Not slippery, though. Safety was key.

Looking around, it was pretty obvious that there were so many pools to dive into, varying in size, depth, and warmth. Different slides accompanied each one, ranging from child-friendly slopes to terrifying monstrosities. Most of the pools were actually unoccupied, despite the fact that hundreds of programs were already on park grounds.

This, naturally, sent Vanellope on a furious, candy-fueled hunt for the most perfect pool that they could snag.

And because children on a sugar rush (pun intended) were impossible to keep up with, the adults simply let her be. No doubt she'd find the best one available...

The three other programs walked in calm silence, each deep in their own thoughts.

Ralph was mentally thanking the maker for making him so _irresistibly hot_ underneath all the layers of clothing.

That he had gawk-worthy muscles and a massive six-pack to show off just made it that much better.

Thank goodness Felix wouldn't stop _drooling_ over him.

It really was a nice change to Ralph's usually-shamefaced ego.

Beside him, Felix seemed painfully distracted, his eyes still drawn to his boyfriend's glistening chest. What he wouldn't give to run his hands (and tongue) up and down that _glorious_ piece of flesh...and...muscle...so much _muscle_...

He had no reason to be acting like this, either. It wasn't like he'd never seen Ralph shirtless before; heck, he'd seen Ralph with _nothing_ on! Of course he knew how amazing the giant man looked when bare; but he still couldn't help but admire how delicious he was wearing nothing but too-small swimming trunks that hugged him _all the right ways..._

Bad Felix!

For his part, Ralph found his own boyfriend extremely delectable in his red trunks—which he knew was Ralph's favorite color—as the smaller man had his own fair share of muscles to sigh over.

The difference between now and two days ago when he'd caught Felix taking a shower was that he could actually touch him without worrying about damaging their friendship.

Plus, he actually knew what was _under_ those trunks...

Bad Ralph.

While the two men mentally undressed each other, Calhoun silently fumed, really disliking how painfully close Ralph and Felix had become. She didn't like how her boyfriend, who was walking in the middle, seemed to thread closer to Ralph than her. She didn't like how the two kept sharing secret glances and soft smiles. One would think they had something going on between them...

Scoffing at the thought, she slid closer to Felix and buried a hand in hair, effectively getting his attention. "Fix-It."

"Hello, Jean! You excited to go swimming as we are?" The fact that he he'd somehow managed to include Ralph in the question ("_we_") oddly annoyed her to no end.

"Hmm." She didn't elaborate on that; just continued to stroke his hair. Briefly, she considered removing her shirt to remind Felix of the gorgeous, properly-toned body that was hidden underneath, clad only in a black bikini. It might get him to stop babbling animatedly to Ralph every five seconds...

But then again, she wasn't the time to flaunt herself like some cheap broad for a man. If she was going to show off her perfect figure for all to see and admire, it would be on her terms.

"I think she found a spot," Felix suddenly informed them, cutting off her planning. He pointed at a spacious gazebo in the center of a small swimming pool of its own, like a giant ice-sculpture floating on air. Since there were so many of these and not a lot of programs in this part of the park, the relaxing spot was obviously theirs to claim.

There were what seemed to be little ice-steps that carried them from the end of the pool to the gazebo, clear as glass and light as air. It gave the illusion of walking on nothing, which seemed both interesting and nerve-racking all at once.

Vanellope ignored the steps completely; she cannonballed straight into the water, the splash so powerful that it soaked her older friends who were standing close by.

Felix laughed and followed after her, creating a splash just as powerful. When he emerged from the water, he slicked his wet hair back, grinning, and looked over at Ralph, eyes half-lidded. The giant program let out a small involuntary whimper, feeling lightheaded at the sight of his very enticing boyfriend. It didn't really help when Felix beckoned him in with a finger, unknowingly giving him a come-hither smolder.

Like a mindless zombie in love, Ralph scrambled into the water with only the thought of Felix clouding his mind. Meanwhile, Vanellope swam to the side of the pool and began encouraging Calhoun to join them. The sergeant couldn't resist a small smile at the sweet action, but calmly told the girl that she wanted to relax in the gazebo first.

"I'll join you!" The small president 'innocently' offered, surprising the rest of her party. While the blonde woman hopped the steps to the refreshing haven waiting for her, Vanellope turned to Ralph and Felix with a tiny smirk.

"I don't wanna be here when you two get all mushy on each other."

"We weren't—"

"Lix, we both know that's a lie."

"...yeah, probably, huh?"

"Plus, I can keep her distracted for a bit. I'll bug her to go on the slide with me, aaaaaall the way over there!" The young girl happily glanced over to the end of the pool, which was a good several yards away. The slide she mentioned looked puny from their current spot, but no doubt just as giant as the rest of the slides they'd already seen.

"What's the catch?" Ralph bluntly demanded, figuring the situation was too good to be true. In return, Vanellope only smirked some more and crossed her arms.

"That's for me to know and you to find out later."

"Deal, then." Bravely, the taller program held out a fist, which the smaller girl bumped with own. It was a shame, Ralph concluded to himself, that Vanellope, looking so angelic and adorable in her teal one-piece swimsuit (complete with frills around her waist like a skirt), was actually just as devious and sly as the most villainous of his friends. But in a precious way, of course.

"Awesome."

When Vanellope had finally swum away, Ralph quickly directed his full attention to the nervous handyman staring up at him, willing himself not to lose control just yet.

He would've been successful...but Felix just _had_ to go and open his mouth.

"I've been waiting to spend some alone time with you..."

That did it.

Trusting that his tiny sidekick had Calhoun facing the other way and occupied, Ralph enthusiastically locked lips with his boyfriend and dragged him under the surface.

It felt...oddly _soothing_ to be in the water like they were, in each other's arms, mouths connected hotly. Underwater, it was as if they were in another world. A light blue, _majestic_ new world. Nobody else but them. They were pleasantly warm all over, both from the water and each other.

Their hair floated like halos around them (if Ralph's eyes had been opened, he would've agreed that his Felix was the most _beautiful angel_ of them all), their tangled bodies one entity.

Teeth met teeth, tongue met tongue. They shared their oxygen (and spit), mouths never leaving the other for even one second. Ralph's fingers were dangerously stroking the skin just above the waistband of Felix's trunks; Felix was running his hands up and down his lover's toned chest, lightly tweaking the two nubs there.

_I love you_, they both silently whispered, and it was a sign of their unbreakable bond that they understood what the other was trying to say without a doubt in their minds.

But alas, they knew they had to part. Their lungs were starting to burn. Plus, they thought of Calhoun, who might get suspicious if they kept this up any longer.

Felix squeezed Ralph's shoulders encouragingly, as though prompting him to resurface.

Ah, well...they always had later...

They actually had _forever_.

With that happy thought, the two pulled apart and returned to the outside world.

* * *

"Enjoy your swim?"

"Yes."

"Good, good..."

"The water's lovely," pleasantly commented Felix, beaming happily when Ralph carried him onto the gazebo. He patted the wrecker's arm in thanks and hopped down, droplets of water still clinging to his toned torso, glistening attractively. "You guys should go in, too."

"We were bonding." Vanellope smiled at the tall blonde woman on the chair beside hers. Believe it or not, she actually had fun chatting with Calhoun, especially now since she realized that they had a lot of things in common.

For starters, both were veterans to alienation by other females (hence why Calhoun was the only woman in Hero's Duty). Not only that, but they often intimidated others when they competed with men with enough ferocity to make them all cry. Thus they seemed too _'masculine'_ and unapproachable by most. Which meant that their loneliness only got worse.

Vanellope had never had a mother figure to look up to before. King Candy—before Turbo got to him—once acted like her father, someone she could rely on and trust. He didn't exist anymore, but that didn't meant she hadn't been missing him.

Sour Bill was the closest she got to having a father-figure. Ralph and Felix were like her uncle and aunt (respectively) who enjoyed spoiling her whenever they could.

Sure, she didn't have a normal family.

But for a glitch like her, what _was_ normal, really?

So her somewhat-mother was this sexy, tough-as-nails, no-nonsense sergeant. Big deal.

It could be worse.

It could be Turbo all over again.

"Indeed," affirmed Calhoun, crossing her smooth legs together. She had already removed her shirt, clad only in her bikini. Casually, she glanced over at Felix to see how much he was drooling over her.

He...was not.

He was staring at her, yes, but only in a mother-hen type of way. In a manner that implied that he felt she was showing too much skin, like a parent might disapprove of his teenager wearing too-short shorts to school.

Not exactly what she had in mind.

"Jean..."

"Yes, Fix-It?"

"...you sure you won't get a cold?"

Resisting the urge to face-palm, Calhoun nodded with obvious strain, her eye twitching some. Felix innocently tilted his head to the side in confusion, puzzled at the annoyed look she couldn't hide. He opened his mouth to say something, but Ralph suddenly nudged him.

"You guys wanna go to the slides?" Not that he really wanted to. But he didn't like Felix talking to Calhoun more, so...

"YES!" Vanellope squealed, already in the water and swimming away. The wrecker smirked and got into the water himself. He looked at his smiling boyfriend and motioned to his back.

"Want a ride?"

"I'd love to ride you!" Felix happily replied; that was, until he realized what he'd said. Blushing all shades of red, he held his hands up in defense, stuttering. "I-I mean, o-of course I'll take a ride on you—your back! I'll ride _your back_! Yeah!"

_I'd rather you ride something else,_ lecherously purred the more predatory part of Ralph's mind. He tried to keep on a cool expression, though his face burned with pleasure. "Hop on."

"C'mon, Jean! To the slides!" Felix yelled as he climbed onto the other man's back, unable to look at his 'girlfriend', whose face he desperately wanted to avoid seeing. Who knew what she was thinking about his Freudian slip?

(Because he honestly did have an _insatiable_ craving for Ralph. Each second he didn't get him, Felix grew more and more _crazy_.)

Ralph didn't want to wait for a reply; instead, he propelled himself forward and began swimming to the other end of the pool, where Vanellope was already climbing a winding staircase to the top of the slide.

When they were out of hearing range from Calhoun, he paused, letting out a low chuckle. "You wanna ride me, huh?"

Felix covered his face. "H-hush, you..."

"Ah~ but you rode me so well last night, after all...why not do it again? Right _now_?"

"We _can't_! Not in public!"

Ralph scoffed. "We'll find a nice bathroom."

* * *

"Hurry up, guys! The line's gettin' longer!"

"Go ahead! We'll catch up with you later!"

"Seriously? You two're so _slow_!"

"No, really, Jean. Stick with her and make sure she doesn't get into trouble!"

"Fine, fine..."

"C'mon, sweetie, let's sit down," Felix murmured to Ralph as the rest of their party vanished into the bikini-clad crowd. He took his lover's hand and led him towards a clearing peppered with tables and chairs, all of which looked like ice-sculptures.

The wrecker nodded breathlessly, still heaving from running after Vanellope for almost an hour. Though he really did love that kid, sometimes he wished she could just shut up and sit still for a change.

"You okay?"

"Fine," panted the larger program, groaning a bit as he lowered his body onto a chair. Felix hopped onto the seat across from him, smiling softly. When Ralph noted this, he blushed. "What?"

"Nothing," sweetly replied the smaller program, batting his eyelashes. "I just can't help but smile when I see ya, Ralphy! You sure put the honeyglow on my cheeks."

Instead of replying, the taller of the two shyly looked away, forcing himself to keep his composure and not _jump_ Felix's bones at that very moment.

At least, not out in the open.

Speaking of which... "Hey, Lixie, do you know where the bathrooms are?"

"Oh, I'm afraid I don't, honey." Pure, innocent, and completely oblivious to his boyfriend's lustful gaze, Felix hummed to himself as he climbed down his seat. He held a hand out for Ralph to take, all smiles. "Let's go look!"

"Sure." Smoothly, Ralph got to his feet and happily accepted Felix's welcoming hand. He sighed in pleasure at sensation of their hands touching, especially since Felix's was gloveless for once. (Felix must really, _really_ trust him to willingly place his hand within Ralph's freakishly huge one.)

As the two 8-bit programs walked, fingers intertwined, others couldn't help but stare. _Now wasn't _this_ such an odd couple_, most thought. Not in a condescending manner, though; more of an amused and touched one.

Except the girls.

They were happily _cooing_ at their cuteness and _squealing_ in delight, fanning themselves in a fangirlish haze.

_Females_ these days...

"People are lookin' at us..." muttered Ralph with his eyes downcast. He protectively drew closer to his smaller lover, ready to crush anyone who dared hurt his sweetheart.

"Let them look. They're just jealous cos I'm with the most amazing guy in the world!"

...okay, forget the bathroom.

Ralph just wanted to find the nearest flat surface.

Or maybe even a small pool...

No sooner had the lewd thought popped up in his mind when they suddenly felt the floor vanish from underneath them.

Then they were falling, falling, _falling_ into darkness, screaming their heads off, clinging desperately onto each other (which helped somewhat).

Just as they resigned themselves to their fate—whatever that might be—the ground was back.

"Oof!" The men fell onto a large couch, one on top of the other. Luckily, it was Felix who had fallen last, and therefore wasn't crushed by his companion's heavy weight.

"Welcome to the Couples' Cabin! My name's Melissa and—oh, hello, again, sirs!"

Sure enough, when they opened their eyes, there stood the green-eyed brunette who, for whatever reason, had been dedicatedly keen to keep them together since day one. She waved at them from behind the front desk, looking rather pleased with herself.

"Why am I not surprised?" Ralph sighed, blinking a little to adjust to the lights. Atop him, Felix cutely rubbed his eyes.

"I know I'm not," he agreed, smiling at the beaming manger. "Where did you say we were, ma'am?"

They seemed to be in the lobby of a homely inn, something one might find out in the mountains. The walls were made of logs, like in a real cabin. A faux bear rug adorned the floor; two squishy armchairs faced an old fireplace, where different colored flames danced. Crystal hearts dangled from the roof, sparkling delightedly.

For some odd reason, the room was rather...an _aphrodisiac_.

There was no questioning the purpose of this special inn.

Melissa was only happy to confirm any suspicions. "The Couples' Cabin—an under-underground retreat for any lovebirds who wanna get some private time! It's mainly for the parents tired of chasin' their kids around," she added as an afterthought, retrieving a gold key from the many hooked onto the wall behind her. She easily tossed it to Ralph, who barely caught it. "Take a right down the hallway. It's at the very end to your left."

Somehow, the wrecker knew what was hidden behind the door. It would no doubt resemble the Honeymoon Room, except probably more obscene and more cabin-y.

When they got there (which was almost instantly, since they both were getting rather impatient) Felix solemnly turned to him. "I've always wanted to try this."

"Try wh—?"

And that was all Ralph could say before the handyman suddenly hopped up, pulled him against the wall, and crushed their lips together.

It took a lot of fumbling to get the key through the lock.

(Literally and _metaphorically_.)

"O-oh, my _land_..."

Ralph made sure to use _all_ the surfaces the room had to offer, _especially_ the hot tub.

_"Oh!"_

He was really glad they were only wearing swimming trunks.

Much easier to get rid of.

_"Ah! Ralph!"_

* * *

Little did they know, a pair of Cy-Bug fighting soldiers had seen them not only kissing furiously outside their room, but also heard the sounds they made as the door slowly closed.

"Didja see that…?"

"Ain't that Cal's boytoy?"

Huh...

Wait till Sarge got a load of _that_.

* * *

**A/N: So Ralph and Felix are frisky. Yes. Very good.**

**So many innuendos in this one. No regrets.**

**GAH! I'M SO SORRY FOR THIS SEVERAL-MONTH ABSENCE! I'VE JUST BEEN SO BUSY! D:**

**I fail hard. *SOB***

**Also, next chapter will probs be a continuation of Day 3 instead of a new one. It will probably be shorter, but this chapter needed to be cut up xP**

**Thanks for sticking around even during my fail moments!**

**Until next time~!**


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